"Sadly, this is what we are seeing in young girls and children today - a complete dependence on external validation and affirmation."

Jane Dutton was in conversation with human potential and parenting expert, Nikki Bush.

Would your daughter rather be hot than smart? If she does, it's probably because the first comment she hears when she meets people concern her looks, her hair and what she is wearing. Let's not forget the social media generation is all about posting the perfect look and getting likes and follows because of it. Girls are being trained to look for external affirmation and validation from all quarters and we need to make sure we see girls and women as way more than just their outward appearance. Seek to discover the essence of every human being you encounter, woman or man, girl or boy. This is who they are, what makes them tick, what they value, what interests them, what they are good at, their opinions, their experiences and so much more. "Hello you beautiful woman!" can refer to way more than just a body, but to an entire being who is made up of so many different and interesting facets.

Can it be another way? This has been my most thought-provoking question of the year and it has yielded interesting answers. It’s so easy to get trapped in your own corner of the world, the way you see things, and sometimes that can be unbelievably limiting. This thought is key to my podcast conversation around diversity, inclusion and equality.

Leveraging difference is a critical key in building a strong business today. Every member of a team brings uniqueness in some form or another. How are you harnessing and leveraging difference and overcoming unconscious bias (we all have it).

In this Win @ Work and Life podcast episode I chat to Dharshni Padaychee, Transformation, Inclusion and Equality Lead at Rand Merchant Bank. I have worked with Dharshni and her team over a number of years and I always keep a look out for her posts on LinkedIn which showcase so much innovation in the diversity, inclusion and equality space. You will hear from the conversation, how passionate Dharshni is about her field and why she chose to shift her focus from accountancy to people.

When you become a parent in the workplace there's a lot of fear and stigma around what will this mean for your career and for your progress, especially for women. "Will I be able to continue to do my job? Will I be overlooked for promotions? What will happen to my career aspirations? Will I be a good enough parent? How can I do it all and still stay sane?" These are just some of the questions that come to mind. Parental transition coaching provides business continuity and talent retention long into the future, and is a must for organisations that invest in their people. Maternity and paternity coaching are the new kids on the block in the diversity and inclusion space. They are a real thing that is having really positive impact, according to my podcast guest, Gillian Cederwall. Gillian is an executive coach and director of Great Expectations, a transitions coaching company with blue chip clients who swear by the impact that these programmes have had on their talent retention pipeline. This conversation covers:

• Why becoming a parent shouldn't mean the end of your career advancement
• Why maternity and paternity coaching is so important
• Why such coaching is important each time you have a baby and as your children change ages and stages
• Helping moms and dads maintain their career aspirations
• How employers can invest in their talent pipeline with transition coaching
• Creating harmony between balance, challenge and authenticity and how this changes over time
• Relational, practical and emotional shifts that come with parenting

Quotes from Gillian Cederwall "The shift to motherhood is the biggest pinch point in a female's career, and this is a very transformational phase for her.... she's gone from focused career woman to working mom with expanded responsibilities. And you've got to get your head around that." "Research shows that the line manager influences whether she stays or goes 50:50, which is huge in terms of her successful return." "By owning the conversation a woman has with her line manager, owning her exit and owning her reentry, it really is subtly influencing the culture for working parents for the better. " Mums and dads, I would love to hear what has worked for you in terms of transitioning into parenthood and back to work again. Some of my clients had babies during lockdown and felt very fortunate that both parents were working from home at the time and could both participate in raising their children day and night, not missing out on any milestones. Drop me an email to info@nikkibush.com

"Why is anyone the richer for even 30 seconds spent with me?" This simple and thought-provoking question will help you define the value you add to other people's lives and comes from my podcast guest and leadership expert, Steve Hall, who is often described as a deep thinker and inspirational storyteller. Steve believes in the extraordinary potential of human energy and how it is the key to high performance at all levels. It is this work which gives him his reason for being. He is committed to helping people shift their perceptions and paradigms about the world and each other by using another set of lenses. Steve has a passion for immersive leadership work, which started with education and training company I Will Not Complain, in China and The Covey Leadership Centre in the US. He was part of bringing the Covey franchise to Africa. Has run hundreds of workshops all over the world, helping individuals, teams and organisations to become more effective in the lives they lead and in their dynamics towards one another. He as been a partner in Lead with Humanity for the last 10 years and has designed and delivered more than 50 leadership weeks across the African continent. This podcast covers:

• How our conditional thinking limits us
• Thinking paradigms and how they influence our behaviour
• How our thinking polarities are neither right nor wrong - they co-exist like breathing in and out, but they are the root cause of our responses and behaviour.
• The six blue pictures of an expansive and friendly world filled with possibility and opportunity and a disconnected world.The six red pictures of a small, finite, unfriendly
• How to take responsibility for your own human energy battery
• The importance of leading yourself and others

A few quotes from Steve Hall: "I don't remember who said it, but I'm sure it's been said by many people that the shortest distance between two people is a story. The minute I get to know your story, and you get to know my story, we reduce complexities. We reduce the picture that some of us are better than others. We learn about the challenges that other people have been through and continue to go through. And the minute I've got that and I've got that curiosity, surely then we become closer together. Surely it means that we can in fact, work more cooperatively together and celebrate the fact that each of us comes from a very different place." "If I've constantly got to play power over people using manipulation and coercion, it's an expensive process. It really is draining on our batteries." "I think it is our responsibility to act in the moment, to act for what's good, to see life through that other set of lenses and say, I wonder if my action now might have recurring or repercussion events down the line."

Three great pieces of advice for anyone leading others from our podcast guest, Juliette Jenner, today:

• Be smart with humans - speak human.
• In doing it, you become it.
• You don’t need to be the smartest person in the room

Juliette Jenner is a coach, speaker, actress and founder of The Dynamic Voice Company. She is way more than a physical voice coach, she is a weaver of personal and professional development magic. Juliette helps business leaders find their authentic CEO voice to enable them to maximise peak opportunity moments in their careers. This includes deep work around understanding how power and energy shifts and moves, crafting your narrative and defining your unique contribution. Juliette believes there is no point in having power, presence and impact if it doesn’t create a sense of joy and fulfilment. Listen in…

She’s warm. She’s funny. She’s genuine. And she loves sloths for some reason known only to her. Join me for this podcast episode as I chat with Yael Geffen about the link between embracing and managing mental health issues and authentic leadership. She has dealt with suicide and loss as well as bipolar disorder. This small, dynamic, charismatic business leader starts off the conversation by saying that a small tree can't grow under a big tree. It’s a really empowering statement for any leader or parent, acknowledging that we have to make space for the people around us to grow. Yael is the CEO and a shareholder of Lew Geffen Sotheby’s International Realty, as well as a member of the Europe, Middle East, India and Africa region task force for Sotheby’s International Realty. She was the winner of the 2020 Standard Bank’s prestigious Top Woman in Property Award and was chosen to represent South Africa as a speaker for the World Leaders Summit in November 2021. Before stepping into the property world, Yael discovered herself in the US, where she was a shoe packer in a factory, a receptionist, a producer in an animation studio and more. It’s these experiences that shaped her. As I always say, no experience is ever wasted or forgotten. This conversation covers:

• Being born into a real estate dynasty and finding her own voice
• The importance of doing ‘little jobs’ and how they prepare you for the ‘big jobs.’
• Living and leading with bipolar disorder
• How you can make ‘your mess your message
• Turning ‘your burden into your brilliance.’
• Managing and leading human beings with a human touch
• Motherhood and authenticity
• Motherhood and boundaries
• Winning awards and using the experience to promote diversity and inclusion
• Her experience with Auschwitz’s survivor, psychologist and author, Dr Edith Eger

A few quotes from Yael: On the matter of family businesses: ”A small tree can’t grow in the shadow of a big tree.” So did I want to be in real estate? ”Hell, no. In fact, I escaped to the States to avoid this very fact and I just wanted to find out who I was. I wanted to find out what it's like to be anonymous and not Lew and Sandy Geffen's daughter. And it was the most beautiful experience. I spent four years in New York City doing many different things, even packing shoes in a shoe factory in Queens, which I absolutely loved. “When you're the chairman's daughter and you are a female in a male dominated industry and you're very young (I was 38 when I took over as CEO), you have some challenges. And for me, I knew I had it in myself to do the job. I just needed the credibility among not only the industry, but my own network. Winning the top woman in property award was just that. It was a wonderful opportunity to garner more support and promote women in leadership. For my network, there were incredible women alongside me.” “Everyone has a story, everyone has baggage. And sometimes it's a beautiful thing to make your mess your message (I stole that line from Lori Milner), obviously without devaluing your brand and your company. So there is a fine line. But, you know, the people that I love the most are the messiest.” “My mission is to reduce the stigma and to inspire others to come forward….And if you look at the most historical figures of our society, whether it's Churchill, whether it's comedians like Robin Williams, they were touched with fire and they made such an impact in the world.” “Accountability is such an important part of leadership. It's such an important part of being a good parent. Such an important part of being in a relationship, in a family. So be accountable.”

Picture this: It’s 1997, I am dancing like no one’s watching on top of a table, and I feel someone pulling my jeans to grab my attention. I look down, and it was the queen bee of all Marketing Managers, my heart stopped as I came down from the table, and she says to me with a puzzled look on her face, “Why are you not this vibrant person at work?” The answer was that I somehow believed that I could not bring my bubbly, vivacious self to work because I thought I would not be taken seriously and would be perceived as unprofessional. I imagined only being able to thrive if I appeared to be someone else. I wonder if you keep the real you hidden at work. Do you? In this episode I chat to Andrea Quaye, Senior Director, Global Category Lead Coffee at the Coca-Cola Company (she recently located to Dublin to take up this position). The above excerpt is from a fabulous article she published on LinkedIn entitled Dancing on Tables.

Want to know how to create sustainable advancement of women instead of just paying lip service the women empowerment conversation? This is as far from ‘woe is me, I am a victim of gender bias’ as you can get. Join me for this podcast as I chat to Colleen Larsen, Chief Executive of Business Engage. She has the keys to the vault of what’s really going on in gender mainstreaming in Africa.

Beyond activism, there are some really amazing shifts taking place, particularly in Africa. In fact Colleen is on a mission to make this content the gender hub for the world. “We have amazing stories to share. Let’s export them rather than importing them!”