These are overwhelming and complex times, with demands on our time and resources from many directions. Sometimes, you need help sorting out how to address your internal conflicts. We demonstrate a process, name some conflict competencies to use, and suggest you approach your internal conflict kindly, with humility and hope.

show note:
Dr. Norman Yan, quoting the late Canadian poet Richard Outram, believes the cardinal human values are humility and hope.

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Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share.

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A conflict communication audit takes a lot of context and factors into account. But all of those factors are within your control. In this second episode about conflict communication audits, (listen to episode 107 for the first part) are five components of a conflict communication audit that will improve both your conflict competency, and the quality of your relationships.

show notes:
Episode 107: Have you done your conflict communication audit? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q6vFheobu3k

Episode 90: What is a conflict management mindset? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_JnF6SQR2Q

The Thomas theorem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lAErrXu7mE4

Episode 82: The conflict competency of perspective taking https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC_juYGtP7I

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Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share.

Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

Perhaps you ask: "What's a conflict communication audit and why do one?" It isn't like a corporate communication audit of executive memos and such. Do you understand how you show up in a conflict? Your conflict communication audit includes your words, actions, and impressions you give during conflicts. Your conflict communication audit takes all your conduct and context into account, from the perspective of the person you're in conflict with.
What you say and do might not be what they hear and observe. Check in with them even during emotional moments, elicit their feedback, and listen to their opinion with humility. They have information that will help you improve your conflict competency. Each conflict communication audit builds your skills.

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Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share.

Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

Here's what's unique about this podcast:
Our belief is that you already have skills to manage conflict. We help you practice your skills, so you improve your conflict competencies. Rather than focusing on resolving any particular conflict, in each episode we point out one or two of your skills that are useful with most people in many contexts. We show how resolution can emerge as a result of you owning your conflict.
In this episode, Tyson and Deborah record in the same room for the first time, and Deborah shares the secret of her wearing the dandelion logo shirt. You can watch this episode, and see the shirt @ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGlj7QiQJO4

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Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share.

Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

The movie, Superman, is a fun practice tool for analyzing how intentions matter in conflicts. As you intend, your actions follow. As Superman fights Lex Luthor's metahumans on the battlefield, they also wage a media war of words to win public belief over who is to be believed. Which one of them has true intention for good and which one has secret intention for evil? Luthor undermines trust in Superman's intentions, but Superman has allies uncovering the secrets of Luthor's intentions. In the end, the fight over intentions holds as much power among us humans as the beatings does among the metahumans.

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Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share.

Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

It's achieved international newsworthiness that people are offending and being offended, cancelling and being cancelled, silent and being silenced. The headlines exist because someone insists that they have the only correct opinion. And, it might be the correct opinion, but is it the only allowable opinion? We discuss some conflict competent approaches when you're feeling offended or have been accused of being offensive.

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Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share.

Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

Would you like to have the secret to resolving your conflict? The secret is: improve your conflict competency so you have skills to handle almost any conflict. No model or script is needed for the skills we encourage you to practice and use. They are: (1) conflict analysis, (2) self-awareness, and (3) appropriate conflict styles. The details are in the episode, just as two small cute dogs come to check what's happening in the office. To see the dogs, go to YouTube.com@conflict-owners-manual.

Send us a text. We love hearing from you.

Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share.

Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.

Elite athletes heal faster and manage pain better than most people. We can apply their techniques to improve our conflict competence and manage conflicts better than most people. So, what are those techniques, and how can we apply them to conflicts?


Show notes:
Research paper:
Carole A. Paley, and Mark I. Johnson. 25 June 2025. Human Resilience and Pain Coping Strategies: A Review of the Literature Giving Insights from Elite Ultra‐Endurance Athletes for Sports Science, Medicine and Society. Springer Nature. https://doi.org/10.1007/s40279-025-02277-4

Conflict Owner's Manual episodes about these coping strategies include:

Episode 64: How is self awareness a conflict competency?
Episode 78: How do you use and practice conflict analysis?
Episode 81: 81 How conflict competence impacts loneliness for the better.
Episode 85: How to stay non-defensive when verbally attacked, respond rather than react.

Send us a text. We love hearing from you.

Dr. Deborah Sword is a conflict specialist with decades of experience and training to share.

Please subscribe to our podcast, like it, share it, leave comments (we love comments), ask questions and suggest topics you'd like to hear. Thank you for listening.