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Navigating the complexities of ADHD in relationships requires more than just understanding the condition—it demands a thoughtful approach to communication, empathy, and mutual support.

Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP tackle the tough questions head-on:

• What do you do when your partner acknowledges their ADHD but refuses any support or treatment?
• How can you communicate the impact of their behaviors without triggering shame?
• What happens when you notice your partner criticizing ADHD traits in your child—the very same traits they demonstrate themselves?

Each of these scenarios creates unique relationship dynamics that can either strengthen or fracture your partnership, depending on how you navigate them.

The heart of this episode is our five-step process for addressing ADHD in relationships. It begins with truly believing your partner's experience, whether they're sharing how ADHD affects them or how they're impacted by your ADHD behaviors. The second critical step is removing shame from the equation—no belittling, no treating your partner like "another child," no judgment. From there, we emphasize education, understanding each other's ADHD stories, and finally taking meaningful action through appropriate supports.

Ready to transform how you and your partner talk about ADHD? Listen now, and discover how to replace criticism with curiosity, defensiveness with understanding, and conflict with compassion. Your relationship—and your family—will thank you.

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The complexity of ADHD can transform a loving partnership into a battlefield of misunderstanding, shame, and resentment—especially when children enter the picture. After receiving an overwhelming response to a social media post about ADHD in relationships, we knew we needed to address this increasingly common challenge faced by parenting partners.

In this first episode of our two-part series, we explore four specific scenarios where ADHD creates conflict between parenting partners: when the default parent has ADHD, when the non-default parent has ADHD, when both partners have ADHD, and when parenting a child with ADHD. Drawing from professional expertise and personal experience, Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP dive into how ADHD affects parenting partner relationships and leads to disconnection and conflict.

Stephen and Erin unpack the neurological reality of ADHD as more than just a willpower issue, examining how dopamine processing affects everything from organization to emotional regulation. Most importantly, we reveal how deeply-rooted shame narratives can drive defensive reactions when partners express frustration, creating cycles of conflict that feel impossible to break.

Whether you suspect ADHD plays a role in your relationship challenges or you're already navigating this reality, this episode offers validation, clarity, and hope. Join us next week when we'll share specific processes for resolving these conflicts and building stronger connections despite—and sometimes because of—your neurodivergent partnership.

Resources mentioned in show:

ADHD 2.0 book link: https://a.co/d/hBLUekw

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What happens when two loving parents disagree about how to respond to their child's behavior? This deeply personal episode dives into one of the most challenging conflicts couples face—differing parenting approaches.

Through the story of Justin and Lori, we examine how bedtime struggles with their six-year-old son leads to couple conflict. Justin believes in firm boundaries and worries about being manipulated, while Lori focuses on understanding what's driving their son's behavior. This scenario leaves both parents feeling misunderstood and judged by their partner.

Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP unpack the neuroscience of effective parenting—acknowledging a child's experience, attuning to their emotional state, and reflecting/mirroring what we observe—while honestly addressing why this approach can be difficult to implement consistently in real life. Most importantly, they explore how our own childhood experiences create emotional triggers that make these conversations particularly charged. Stephen shares how his resistance stems from not wanting to parent like his father, while Erin reflects on how being raised by a busy single mother shaped her approach to structure and boundaries.

The path forward isn't about determining who's right, but understanding what drives our reactions and learning to "parent on purpose" instead of from automatic patterns. By approaching these differences with kindness and curiosity, couples can move from rigid opposition to thoughtful collaboration.

Want more resources to help transform your essential relationship conflicts into deeper connection? Our book "Too Tired to Fight" gives you practical tools to navigate the 13 conflicts every couple faces, including parenting differences. Available wherever books are sold: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X