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In this milestone 100th episode of Couples Counseling for Parents, Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP reflect on the transformative relationship wisdom they've gathered over the years of working with couples facing the unique challenges of parenthood.

The insights they share are both profound and practical. They discuss how true bravery emerges when couples face their deepest fears and vulnerabilities; how humility creates openings for healing; and how our universal desire to be truly seen and accepted drives relationship dynamics. The Mitchells explain why genuine curiosity defuses tension, why understanding your partner's childhood story transforms how you perceive conflicts, and why celebrating joy deserves as much attention as addressing problems.

Perhaps most powerfully, they reveal how parenting often becomes the catalyst that inspires couples to break dysfunctional patterns. "Having kids amplifies what you want in life and makes you fight for it," they observe. "Your life didn't diminish when you had children—it gave you permission to ask for more."

Throughout their conversation, Stephen and Erin weave in practical examples from their own relationship, demonstrating how these principles play out in real life. They emphasize that the goal isn't to eliminate conflict (an impossible and boring aim) but to transform how we approach it, gradually reducing its intensity, duration, and frequency.

Whether you're just starting your parenting journey or navigating its challenges years in, these insights offer a roadmap to more connected, resilient relationships. Ready to transform how you communicate with your partner? This episode shows you the way forward.

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Remember when you and your partner felt like soulmates, deeply connected and growing stronger together? Then parenthood arrived, and suddenly those old insecurities you thought were healed came rushing back with surprising force. You're not alone, and no—you didn't make a mistake choosing each other.

Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP state, "What's happening is a normal developmental challenge that catches most couples by surprise." The intense stress of parenting activates our nervous systems, bringing along familiar patterns, thoughts and feelings from our past. Your partner, who once soothed these core wounds, seems to be triggering them at the worst possible moment.

Through the story of Annabeth and Selena, we explore how one partner's feeling of "everything falls on me" collides with the other's sense that "nothing I do is ever enough"—creating a painful cycle that many parents recognize. When Annabeth expresses feeling overwhelmed and alone, Selena withdraws, feeling criticized and inadequate. Each response intensifies the other's core wound, despite their deep love for each other.

The path forward isn't about solving logistical problems or dividing tasks differently. It begins with understanding which pattern you tend toward, exploring the deeper stories behind your reactions, and learning to talk about the feelings themselves rather than arguing about surface issues. When partners can vulnerably share "When this happens, I notice I start feeling alone like I did growing up" instead of launching into criticism or defensiveness, everything changes.

This episode offers a four-step process to transform these painful cycles into opportunities for deeper connection. You'll learn to recognize your pattern, understand its origins, communicate vulnerably about the feelings, and establish regular check-ins to prevent buildup.

Ready to turn relationship regression into progression? Listen now, and discover how the very wounds causing disconnection can become your pathway to profound intimacy.

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Navigating the complexities of ADHD in relationships requires more than just understanding the condition—it demands a thoughtful approach to communication, empathy, and mutual support.

Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP tackle the tough questions head-on:

• What do you do when your partner acknowledges their ADHD but refuses any support or treatment?
• How can you communicate the impact of their behaviors without triggering shame?
• What happens when you notice your partner criticizing ADHD traits in your child—the very same traits they demonstrate themselves?

Each of these scenarios creates unique relationship dynamics that can either strengthen or fracture your partnership, depending on how you navigate them.

The heart of this episode is our five-step process for addressing ADHD in relationships. It begins with truly believing your partner's experience, whether they're sharing how ADHD affects them or how they're impacted by your ADHD behaviors. The second critical step is removing shame from the equation—no belittling, no treating your partner like "another child," no judgment. From there, we emphasize education, understanding each other's ADHD stories, and finally taking meaningful action through appropriate supports.

Ready to transform how you and your partner talk about ADHD? Listen now, and discover how to replace criticism with curiosity, defensiveness with understanding, and conflict with compassion. Your relationship—and your family—will thank you.

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The complexity of ADHD can transform a loving partnership into a battlefield of misunderstanding, shame, and resentment—especially when children enter the picture. After receiving an overwhelming response to a social media post about ADHD in relationships, we knew we needed to address this increasingly common challenge faced by parenting partners.

In this first episode of our two-part series, we explore four specific scenarios where ADHD creates conflict between parenting partners: when the default parent has ADHD, when the non-default parent has ADHD, when both partners have ADHD, and when parenting a child with ADHD. Drawing from professional expertise and personal experience, Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP dive into how ADHD affects parenting partner relationships and leads to disconnection and conflict.

Stephen and Erin unpack the neurological reality of ADHD as more than just a willpower issue, examining how dopamine processing affects everything from organization to emotional regulation. Most importantly, we reveal how deeply-rooted shame narratives can drive defensive reactions when partners express frustration, creating cycles of conflict that feel impossible to break.

Whether you suspect ADHD plays a role in your relationship challenges or you're already navigating this reality, this episode offers validation, clarity, and hope. Join us next week when we'll share specific processes for resolving these conflicts and building stronger connections despite—and sometimes because of—your neurodivergent partnership.

Resources mentioned in show:

ADHD 2.0 book link: https://a.co/d/hBLUekw

@alex_partridge_100

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What happens when two loving parents disagree about how to respond to their child's behavior? This deeply personal episode dives into one of the most challenging conflicts couples face—differing parenting approaches.

Through the story of Justin and Lori, we examine how bedtime struggles with their six-year-old son leads to couple conflict. Justin believes in firm boundaries and worries about being manipulated, while Lori focuses on understanding what's driving their son's behavior. This scenario leaves both parents feeling misunderstood and judged by their partner.

Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP unpack the neuroscience of effective parenting—acknowledging a child's experience, attuning to their emotional state, and reflecting/mirroring what we observe—while honestly addressing why this approach can be difficult to implement consistently in real life. Most importantly, they explore how our own childhood experiences create emotional triggers that make these conversations particularly charged. Stephen shares how his resistance stems from not wanting to parent like his father, while Erin reflects on how being raised by a busy single mother shaped her approach to structure and boundaries.

The path forward isn't about determining who's right, but understanding what drives our reactions and learning to "parent on purpose" instead of from automatic patterns. By approaching these differences with kindness and curiosity, couples can move from rigid opposition to thoughtful collaboration.

Want more resources to help transform your essential relationship conflicts into deeper connection? Our book "Too Tired to Fight" gives you practical tools to navigate the 13 conflicts every couple faces, including parenting differences. Available wherever books are sold: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X

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Life as a parent can often feel like a flood of responsibilities, expectations, and emotional exhaustion. In this episode, Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP, address the cycle of invalidation that can arise between partners as they try to juggle tasks and manage parenting stress. Through the story of Raj and Brynn, we explore how feelings of being overworked and underappreciated can lead to mutual invalidation in relationships.

Join us in uncovering the steps necessary to shift out of a cycle of invalidation into a pattern of offering vulnerability and validation. Tune in for meaningful insights and real world scripts that can help you strengthen your couple relationship as you parent.

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This episode dives into the dynamics of emotional regulation between partners in stressful parenting moments, highlighting the contrasting coping behaviors of downshifting and upshifting. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP provide practical insights using a relatable case study, illustrating how couples can navigate these tensions and foster meaningful communication to create a supportive family environment.

• Explaining the downshift-upshift coping dynamic in relationships
• Analyzing a common conflict scenario in parenting
• Discussing the role of everyday stressors on couple dynamics
• Introducing the concept of co-regulation between partners
• Offering actionable strategies for improving communication during stress

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In this episode, we explore the pervasive issue of resentment in couple relationships, particularly among parents. We discuss its roots in unexpressed emotions and decision-making conflicts, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability, active listening, and mutual understanding to resolve underlying issues and prevent resentment from taking hold. Here is what we cover in the show:

• Resentment often arises from feelings of being undervalued or unheard
• Parenting pressures can exacerbate feelings of resentment
• Major life decisions often become breeding grounds for resentment
• Vulnerability and transparency are essential for healthy conversations
• Mutual understanding plays a key role in decision-making dynamics
• Listening without defensiveness fosters connection and heals rifts
• Conflict can be an opportunity for growth and intimacy
• Practical insights for managing resentment in relationships offered