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The complexity of ADHD can transform a loving partnership into a battlefield of misunderstanding, shame, and resentment—especially when children enter the picture. After receiving an overwhelming response to a social media post about ADHD in relationships, we knew we needed to address this increasingly common challenge faced by parenting partners.

In this first episode of our two-part series, we explore four specific scenarios where ADHD creates conflict between parenting partners: when the default parent has ADHD, when the non-default parent has ADHD, when both partners have ADHD, and when parenting a child with ADHD. Drawing from professional expertise and personal experience, Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP dive into how ADHD affects parenting partner relationships and leads to disconnection and conflict.

Stephen and Erin unpack the neurological reality of ADHD as more than just a willpower issue, examining how dopamine processing affects everything from organization to emotional regulation. Most importantly, we reveal how deeply-rooted shame narratives can drive defensive reactions when partners express frustration, creating cycles of conflict that feel impossible to break.

Whether you suspect ADHD plays a role in your relationship challenges or you're already navigating this reality, this episode offers validation, clarity, and hope. Join us next week when we'll share specific processes for resolving these conflicts and building stronger connections despite—and sometimes because of—your neurodivergent partnership.

Resources mentioned in show:

ADHD 2.0 book link: https://a.co/d/hBLUekw

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What happens when two loving parents disagree about how to respond to their child's behavior? This deeply personal episode dives into one of the most challenging conflicts couples face—differing parenting approaches.

Through the story of Justin and Lori, we examine how bedtime struggles with their six-year-old son leads to couple conflict. Justin believes in firm boundaries and worries about being manipulated, while Lori focuses on understanding what's driving their son's behavior. This scenario leaves both parents feeling misunderstood and judged by their partner.

Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP unpack the neuroscience of effective parenting—acknowledging a child's experience, attuning to their emotional state, and reflecting/mirroring what we observe—while honestly addressing why this approach can be difficult to implement consistently in real life. Most importantly, they explore how our own childhood experiences create emotional triggers that make these conversations particularly charged. Stephen shares how his resistance stems from not wanting to parent like his father, while Erin reflects on how being raised by a busy single mother shaped her approach to structure and boundaries.

The path forward isn't about determining who's right, but understanding what drives our reactions and learning to "parent on purpose" instead of from automatic patterns. By approaching these differences with kindness and curiosity, couples can move from rigid opposition to thoughtful collaboration.

Want more resources to help transform your essential relationship conflicts into deeper connection? Our book "Too Tired to Fight" gives you practical tools to navigate the 13 conflicts every couple faces, including parenting differences. Available wherever books are sold: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/059371427X

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Life as a parent can often feel like a flood of responsibilities, expectations, and emotional exhaustion. In this episode, Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP, address the cycle of invalidation that can arise between partners as they try to juggle tasks and manage parenting stress. Through the story of Raj and Brynn, we explore how feelings of being overworked and underappreciated can lead to mutual invalidation in relationships.

Join us in uncovering the steps necessary to shift out of a cycle of invalidation into a pattern of offering vulnerability and validation. Tune in for meaningful insights and real world scripts that can help you strengthen your couple relationship as you parent.

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This episode dives into the dynamics of emotional regulation between partners in stressful parenting moments, highlighting the contrasting coping behaviors of downshifting and upshifting. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP provide practical insights using a relatable case study, illustrating how couples can navigate these tensions and foster meaningful communication to create a supportive family environment.

• Explaining the downshift-upshift coping dynamic in relationships
• Analyzing a common conflict scenario in parenting
• Discussing the role of everyday stressors on couple dynamics
• Introducing the concept of co-regulation between partners
• Offering actionable strategies for improving communication during stress

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In this episode, we explore the pervasive issue of resentment in couple relationships, particularly among parents. We discuss its roots in unexpressed emotions and decision-making conflicts, emphasizing the importance of vulnerability, active listening, and mutual understanding to resolve underlying issues and prevent resentment from taking hold. Here is what we cover in the show:

• Resentment often arises from feelings of being undervalued or unheard
• Parenting pressures can exacerbate feelings of resentment
• Major life decisions often become breeding grounds for resentment
• Vulnerability and transparency are essential for healthy conversations
• Mutual understanding plays a key role in decision-making dynamics
• Listening without defensiveness fosters connection and heals rifts
• Conflict can be an opportunity for growth and intimacy
• Practical insights for managing resentment in relationships offered

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Ever wonder how parenting impacts your intimate relationship? Join us for a compelling conversation with renowned sex expert Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons as she shares insights from her latest book, "Good Sex." She dives into the challenges of maintaining a healthy sexual relationship amidst the responsibilities of parenthood. Dr. Hargons, an associate professor at Emory University, offers a compassionate perspective on navigating the changing dynamics of intimacy. She emphasizes the importance of communication and renegotiating relationship terms as couples journey through different stages of parenting.

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This episode addresses the often invisible burden carried by default caregivers like Tasha, who find themselves overwhelmed by both family and partner expectations. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP, delve into the mismatched needs that arise from these dynamics, frequently leading to misunderstandings and conflict. Through thoughtful discussion, we focus on the critical role of open communication and self-awareness in breaking free from outdated norms that perpetuate inequality. By examining how Tasha's partner, Paul, may inadvertently contribute to this imbalance, we highlight the need for intentionality and shared responsibility within family units.

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This episode dives into six transformative principles for strengthening couple relationships amidst the challenges of parenting. Stephen Mitchell, PhD and Erin Mitchell, MACP encourage listeners to embrace unity in problem-solving, assume positive intent, grant each other space, seek counseling early, practice patience and grace, and confront fears openly. The six principles discussed are:
• It's me and you against the problem not us against each other
• Be quicker to assume good intent than ill intent
• Let each other walk away when we're over the limit. We will work it out soon.
• Start counseling sooner to heal inner wounds
• Patience and Grace
• Don't be afraid of the unknown