Are you ever going to text me?

This episode does not include any obsessed Greeks.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph walk down the aisle and propose their best movies with weddings in them.

• May your first child be a masculine child.
• Hollywood elite Will Ferrell steals Jim's daughter's wedding suite.
• Jason identifies himself as the worst kind of dog-owning neighbor.
• Alcoholism is just not as funny as it was in the 80s.
• Slappin' da bass!
• Who learned how to be a responsible pet owner from Jason Segel?
• What's a wedding without an awkward, drunken toast?

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This episode gets a little verklempt.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph get a little teary eyed over their choices of best emotional movie scenes.

Jim describes his triumph at South by Congress.

Talk amongst yourselves.

Joseph is a kvetch about getting verklempt.

Jim ran the Philidelphia Museum steps like Rocky and was promptly ridiculed by the locals.

Jason boldly accuses Spielberg of being a hack.

It's a stupid cartoon, but it chokes Joseph up every time.

All complaints regarding this episode should go to Jason@crispycoatedrobots.com

Dogs proves to be the emotional Achilles heel to guys watching movies.

Which femme fatal was wrongfully omitted from the femme fatal episode?

What movie does the Meeker household find entertainment in watching Jason cry?

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This episode doesn’t like taking naps.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph try to find happiness by selecting their favorite depressed characters in movies.

I’m Joseph Johnson. I’m an AV man.

Prozac and Skittles

I misjudged you. I’m not perfect. Buy the box.

The best grandparents take their grandchildren to see movies about sex and suicide.

The power of the ham sandwich!

Oh, Bother!

Why do bums have amazing hair?

What does Taoism have to do with Poo? More importantly, who cares?

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This episode is very sweaty (or at least has a lot of sweaty references).

Jason, Jim, and Joseph rumble over the best jungle movies.

But the ass is real.

Joseph reveals his youth ambition to be Boy, but he just ended up being a monkey dancing to a singing orangutan.

Jim gives some love to Eddie Grant's rejected theme song to great jungle movie.

Jason takes offense at Joseph for taking a "dinosaur dump" on one of his selections.

Sheena or Beastmaster?

What do YOU mean, "you people"?

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This episode was made by humans (sort of).

In the spirit of International Women's Day, Jason, Jim, and Joseph list their favorite best supporting actress winners.

AI Joseph - it won't let you down after a night of drinking.

Jason gets scorned for his selections from last week's episode.

It's singing. It's not real acting.

Scarlett O'Hara wouldn't have lasted through the civil war and the movie would not have been as good with Joseph and Jason's selection.

Jim confesses some of his boyhood fetishes of Rita Moreno and the Muppets.

The boys praise Allison Janney's great performance of a stinky mother.

One of Meryl Steep's performances comes down to her ability to flinch during confrontations.

"Were you a failure and the one most important relationship in your life?"

Why does a Walter Mathau impression come up so many times in the episode?

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WARNING: This episode has an excess of impersonations.

Jason, Jim, and Joseph list their favorite Supporting Actor winners.

Jim asks the important question of determining the different types of Okies.

Iris: it’s not so much a great movie as it is a preventer of recognition for bad Oscar performances.

It’s the Chicago Rock Way.

Hey Friendo.

Jason cleverly sneaks past the “no complaining” policy of Oscar nominees.

Joseph admits that a little bullying can bring out the best in people.

What actor suffered PTSD from too much cowbell?

How in the hell did a Jimmy Stewart impression make it into this show?

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This episode is MUCH kinder to Chewbacca than Han Solo ever was.

Jason, Jim and Joseph have an enlightened discussion about the best modern black-and-white movies made in the past fifty years.

• Live on the podcast, Jason discovers he is color blind!!!
• A young Cousin Eddie looks more inbred in black and white.
• Joseph makes a pitch to P--- Hub for sponsorship.
• The Big Knockers come through better in black and white.
• Just as wrong as seeing Herman Munster in color.
• Jason accuses Joseph of being an anti-Dentite.
• Jim likes to keep his hands warm.
• George "The Animal" Steele.
• Jim makes an unsolicited plea to reconsider the value of the 1979 "Makin' It" sitcom. (Seriously, does anyone remember "Makin' It"?)
• Why can't a photograph like the iconic Muhammad Ali vs. Sonny Liston shot be taken today?

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This episode has armpit sweat stains.

Jim, Jason, and Joseph get into a heated conversation about some of the sweatiest movies ever made.

Joseph tries to explain the SNL "Weird Year" documentary... sort of?

Jim is a confessed sweaty sleeper.

Lee Cobb is easily the angriest of all the 12 men.

Hoo-ha Al Pacino would have made for a very different Dog Day Afternoon.

Florida may be the sweatiest location to film.

The Nazis had problems too.

Jason has ice cubes to share with Rosie Perez.

Ozzy Nelson doesn't have brothers on his wall.

Why don't more people have Peacock?

What Movie Channel classic had Jim all hot and bothered in middle school?