Episode Overview:

In this episode of 5 Year You, Andrew and Catherine explore the challenges of letting go of relationships that no longer align with your personal growth. They share insights on how personal development can create shifts in your circle of friends, family, and colleagues and discuss the concept of “raising your vibration.” The hosts dive deep into setting boundaries, understanding the sunk cost fallacy in relationships, and recognizing when it’s time to create space for new connections. With empathy and honesty, they provide practical advice on navigating these changes while staying true to yourself.

Key Topics Covered:

• Why Letting Go is Necessary: Andrew explains how growth can naturally lead to shifts in relationships and why it’s okay for not everyone to stay in your life forever.
• Raising Your Vibration: Catherine describes how personal growth changes the energy you bring to relationships and attracts people aligned with your values.
• Boundaries and Pushback: The importance of setting boundaries and recognizing who supports your growth versus who resists it.
• Sunk Cost Fallacy in Relationships: Why time invested in a friendship or relationship doesn’t mean you have to keep it if it’s no longer serving you.
• Making Space for New Connections: Practical ways to create room for relationships that align with your authentic self.

Actionable Steps for Listeners:

1. Evaluate Your Relationships: Reflect on the five people you spend the most time with. Do they uplift you, or do they hold you back?
2. Set Boundaries: Practice saying no to behaviors or requests that don’t align with your growth.
3. Make Room for Growth: Consider creating space for new connections by reducing time spent with negative influences.
4. Embrace Contrast: Use challenging relationships as lessons to better understand what you value and need in your life.
5. Focus on Your Journey: Trust that as you grow, the right people will naturally be drawn to your energy and purpose.

Quotes:

Catherine’s Aha Moments:

• "Some people are meant to come into your life for a season, to teach you a lesson, but not to stay forever."
• "You can’t control other people’s journeys, only your own, so focus on being true to your authentic self."
• "Raising your vibration doesn’t mean cutting people off—it means attracting what aligns with who you’re becoming."
• "Negative comments are always about the person saying them, not you."
• "Living authentically is the best way to attract your tribe and find fulfilling relationships."

Andrew’s Aha Moments:

• "You only have so much space in your life—choose wisely who gets to share it with you."
• "Letting go of toxic relationships is not about rejection, it’s about making room for the right connections."
• "You’re an amalgam of the five people you spend the most time with—surround yourself with those who lift you up."
• "Raising your vibration means changing how you approach life and relationships—and the right people will follow."
• "No one can make you feel a certain way without your permission."

Glimmers of the Week:

• Andrew: Looking forward to a family trip to Nashville to enjoy BBQ, a hockey game, and a visit to the Grand Ole Opry.
• Catherine: Excited about her progress on Duolingo, learning French as a beginner and enjoying the journey of embracing imperfection.

Resources Mentioned:

Episode Overview:

In this episode of 5 Year You, Andrew and Catherine tackle the deeply personal and universal topic of self-worth. They discuss the pervasive feeling of “not being good enough” that so many people experience, particularly in high-achievement cultures. The hosts reflect on how upbringing, societal pressures, and personal expectations often feed into this feeling and share insights on how to counteract it with self-compassion. This conversation offers practical steps for building a more positive relationship with yourself, embracing self-worth, and learning to be “good enough” in a world that often tells us otherwise.

Key Topics Covered:

• The Roots of Feeling "Not Good Enough": Andrew and Catherine share their personal experiences with self-doubt and how societal pressures can perpetuate this feeling.
• Parenting and Self-Worth: Catherine discusses her approach to instilling self-worth in her children, emphasizing effort over results to prevent linking achievement with worth.
• Breaking the Cycle of Overachievement: Andrew and Catherine reflect on how being workaholics and perfectionists has impacted their lives and led them to reframe their approach to success.
• Social Media and Comparison: Catherine shares tips on curating your social media feed to avoid triggers of self-doubt and focus on accounts that inspire personal growth.
• Creating Self-Affirming Habits: Practical advice on fostering habits that reinforce self-worth, such as acknowledging small wins and treating yourself with kindness.

Actionable Steps for Listeners:

1. Unfollow Negative Influences: Curate your social media feed to eliminate accounts that make you feel inadequate and replace them with content that promotes self-love and positivity.
2. Acknowledge Small Wins: Make it a habit to recognize and celebrate even minor accomplishments, helping to build a more positive self-view.
3. Prioritize Self-Care Over Productivity: Shift focus from constant achievement to self-care activities, like resting when needed and embracing activities that bring joy.
4. Surround Yourself with Positivity: Choose friends, media, and activities that uplift you and remind you of your inherent worth.

Quotes:

Catherine’s Aha Moments:

• "You were born worthy, and nothing you do or don’t do changes that."
• "Self-worth isn’t about what you accomplish; it’s about embracing who you are, flaws and all."
• "When you feel not enough, it’s often because you’re measuring yourself by someone else’s yardstick."
• "The path to feeling good enough starts with quieting the outside noise and listening to your own voice."
• "Social media should be a place of inspiration, not comparison. Follow people who lift you up, not make you feel small."

Andrew’s Aha Moments:

• "Feeling good enough starts with how you treat yourself and recognizing the value in who you are, not just in what you achieve."
• "Success isn’t a measure of worth—it’s simply one part of the journey to being your authentic self."
• "When you prioritize self-care over productivity, you’re telling yourself, ‘I matter beyond what I can do for others.’"
• "The constant need to prove ourselves keeps us from appreciating who we already are."
• "Every time you celebrate a small win, you’re rewiring your mind to see that you are, and always have been, enough."

Glimmers of the Week:

• Catherine: Discovered a new gluten-free bakery with delicious treats that bring joy to her and make her feel great about nourishing...

• Overcomplicating vs. Simplifying: Andrew shares his tendency to overcomplicate tasks and Catherine highlights how simplifying makes things more manageable, using examples from her own life, like cooking with fewer ingredients.
• Simplifying Finances: Both hosts talk about how simplifying finances—through consolidating debt and reducing budget categories—can bring mental relief and make life easier to manage.
• Creating a Simple Home Environment: Catherine shares her experience downsizing to an apartment and how reducing household responsibilities, like yard work and bill payments, gave her more peace of mind.
• Simplifying Health Goals: Andrew and Catherine discuss how simplifying their diets and workout routines helped them lose weight and improve their health without overcomplicating the process.
• The Mental Benefits of Simplifying: They explain how simplifying various aspects of life can lead to more time, energy, and mental clarity for the things that truly matter.

1. Pick One Area to Simplify: Whether it's your finances, your diet, or your home environment, choose one area to focus on first, and simplify it step by step.
2. Identify What’s Essential: Take a look at your daily routine or your budget and identify the few things that matter most. Let go of what’s not essential.
3. Practice Letting Go: Simplifying often means removing things, whether it's physical clutter or mental clutter. Start practicing letting go of things that don’t serve you anymore.
4. Embrace Empty Space: Once you simplify, resist the urge to fill the new space with more stuff. Instead, enjoy the calm that comes with less.

• "Simplifying is the act of removing the unnecessary so you can enjoy the essential more." – Andrew Dewar
• "It’s about the feeling you get at the end, that sense of exhale when you have more space in your life." – Catherine Collins

• Catherine: Enjoying the simplicity of a few thoughtful purchases for her shower, courtesy of a birthday gift card from her parents, which has brought her unexpected joy.
• Andrew: Excited about his new CIRCUL ring, which tracks his energy and stress levels throughout the day, helping him understand his body better.

• CIRCUL Ring – A wearable that tracks energy and stress levels, among other health metrics.
• Opal App – A phone app that helps block distractions and reduce screen time.

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• Identifying Escalating Stress: Catherine shares how she uses a number system to communicate her stress levels and how she actively removes herself from escalating situations to prevent emotional overload.
• Andrew’s Inner Dialogue: Andrew discusses how his inner voice often drives feelings of stress and how he’s learning to separate that voice from his true self through mindfulness practices.
• Creating a Calm Home Environment: Catherine talks about intentionally building a calm atmosphere in her household as a single parent and how that affects her well-being and her children’s.
• Dealing with High Expectations: Both hosts reflect on the pressures of being high achievers and how that drive can lead to burnout and illness if not managed properly.
• The Importance of Daily Calm Practices: The episode highlights how small, consistent habits like walking, meditating, or breathing exercises can make a significant difference in reducing stress over time.

1. Practice Breathing Exercises: Take three deep breaths and visualize moving from your head (where the stress lives) to your heart (where calm resides).
2. Create Calm Rituals: Whether it's a daily walk, a quiet moment with tea, or yoga, find a small activity that brings you peace and integrate it into your routine.
3. Set Boundaries for Stress: Use tools like Catherine's stress number system to communicate when you need space and to prevent overwhelming situations from escalating.
4. Reflect on Your Environment: Notice if your home or workplace is conducive to calm, and make intentional changes that foster peace, such as decluttering or lowering noise levels.

• Catherine: She’s excited about using a new app called Opal, which helps block distractions on her phone, reducing screen time and giving her back precious time in her day.
• Andrew: Enjoyed a peaceful solo movie experience where he had the entire theater to himself, turning what could have felt awkward into a calming and enjoyable moment.

• Opal App – A phone app that blocks distractions to help you focus and reclaim time.
• Feeling Wheel – A tool to identify and label your emotions, which can help with emotional regulation.

• The Anxiety of Being Late: Andrew and Catherine talk about their personal frustrations with being late and how societal pressure adds to this anxiety.
• Feeling Behind in Life: They explore the broader concept of feeling late in life, comparing your progress to others, and the stress of not meeting societal expectations.
• Embracing Your Own Timeline: Catherine and Andrew share how to let go of the invisible "life checklist" and recognize that everyone’s path is unique.
• Self-Compassion and Humility: They talk about the importance of showing yourself kindness and practicing humility when things don't go as planned.
• Turning Stress into Compassion: Andrew discusses how moments of stress, like running late, can serve as opportunities to practice compassion for ourselves and others.

1. Practice Self-Compassion: When you find yourself running late or feeling behind, be kind to yourself instead of self-critical. You’re doing your best.
2. Flip the Script on Being Late: Shift your mindset to recognize that sometimes things happen outside of your control. Compassion toward yourself and others is key.
3. Embrace Your Unique Timeline: Stop comparing yourself to others and trust that you are exactly where you're meant to be in life, at the right time.
4. Create Your Own Traditions: Let go of societal pressures to follow established traditions. Make your own path, whether it’s how you celebrate holidays or how you choose to live your life.

• "You're not late. You're exactly where you're supposed to be." – Catherine Collins
• "A tradition is just something somebody else started a long time ago. You can start your own traditions whenever you want." – Andrew Dewar

• Catherine: Excited about her new thrift store find—a hot pink V-neck sweater that fits perfectly and still had the tags on.
• Andrew: Enjoyed Canadian Thanksgiving by breaking away from traditional expectations and taking his kids to a funny movie, shopping, and having a meaningful dinner conversation.

• Feeling Wheel – A helpful tool for identifying and processing emotions.

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• The Roots of Needing Permission: How childhood conditioning and societal expectations play into our adult lives, creating the habit of seeking external approval.
• The Role of Worthiness: The hosts explore how needing permission is often a reflection of feeling unworthy or undeserving of the things we want.
• Permission to Rest and Care for Yourself: Catherine shares her struggle with feeling like she needs approval to take a break or do something for herself, even in her own home.
• The Life Checklist: Andrew and Catherine discuss the societal "checklist" of life that tells us what we should be doing, and how breaking away from that can make us feel like we need validation.
• Practical Steps for Self-Permission: Tips on how to start small by giving yourself permission for little things, building up to bigger goals, and how this ties into living a life of purpose.

1. Start Small: Give yourself permission for simple things like taking a break, buying a small treat, or doing something you enjoy.
2. Awareness: Begin noticing the moments when you feel like you need permission from others and ask yourself why.
3. Affirm Your Worthiness: Remind yourself that you are worthy of good things, whether it's a snack or a big life change, without needing external validation.
4. Journal Your Desires: Write down the things you want to do but haven’t given yourself permission for yet. Start with one and give yourself the green light.

• Andrew: Excited about his new discovery—Siesta chips, a healthier snack made with cassava flour that’s both satisfying and good for him, especially the churro-flavored ones.
• Catherine: Cherishing a surprise manicure and pedicure session she shared with her daughter, making for a special bonding moment.

• Feeling Wheel – For identifying and processing emotions.

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• The Emotional Garage: What it is and how we tend to store emotions rather than process them.
• Impact on Health: How storing emotions can lead to physical ailments and emotional overwhelm.
• Cultural Influence on Emotions: Discussing the societal conditioning, especially among men, to suppress emotions.
• The Importance of Emotional Release: Different ways to safely express emotions, including crying, journaling, physical activity, and talk therapy.
• Personal Stories: Andrew's personal journey of learning to face his emotions after years of avoidance, and Catherine’s insights on the emotional-physical connection, especially with her autoimmune conditions.
• Visualizing Emotions: How personifying your emotions as "gremlins" or small creatures can help in understanding and releasing them.

1. Identify Your Feelings: Use tools like the Feeling Wheel to name and recognize your emotions. Understanding what you are feeling is the first step to processing it.
2. Acknowledge Your Emotions: It’s okay to feel anger, sadness, or frustration. Find a safe outlet to express these emotions, whether it's taking a walk, venting to a friend, or journaling.
3. Talk to Someone: If you’re struggling to face your emotions, seek a safe space, whether it’s a trusted friend or professional therapist, to begin unpacking those “boxes.”
4. Give Yourself Permission to Cry: Crying is a natural emotional release. Allow yourself to feel and let go, just like you would laugh or express joy.

• Catherine: A new, colorful backdrop in her home office, featuring artwork from her twins, has brightened up her space and brought her joy.
• Andrew: The incredible experience of seeing Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, which left them in awe of the spectacular stage effects.

• "You can clean out your emotional garage one box at a time. It doesn’t have to be a spring clean." – Andrew Dewar
• "Your emotions don’t want to be stuck inside of you. Let them out and watch how much lighter you feel." – Catherine Collins

• Feeling Wheel – A tool to help identify and name your emotions.
• The Body Keeps the Score – A book that explores the connection between emotions and physical health.

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