In this episode, we welcome intimacy and relationship specialist Lottie Passell-Syms. We discuss the importance of communication in relationships, the changing landscape of dating, and the need for empathy and connection. Lottie shares insights from her twenty years of experience in the field, emphasizing the significance of understanding each other's needs and expectations. The conversation also touches on the dynamics of power in relationships and the balance between personal independence and partnership. We delve into the complexities of relationships, exploring themes such as generational stereotypes, the dynamics of relationship roles, and the impact of childhood scripts on adult behaviour. We discuss the importance of communication in sexual relationships, emphasizing the need for openness and consent. The conversation highlights the significance of anticipation and playfulness in sexual intimacy, while addressing the often-taboo subject of masturbation andself-exploration, as well the stages of love, the importance of communication, and the necessity of forgiveness. Additionally, we explore the concept of limerence, the power struggle that often arises in relationships, and the ideaof conscious uncoupling as a means to navigate breakups with kindness. The discussion emphasises the significance of maintaining an open heart and the little gestures that can strengthen intimacy between partners. Overall, the discussion provides valuable insights into fostering healthier relationships and understanding individual needs.

Chapters

00:00

Introduction to the Podcast and Guest

00:53

Understanding Intimacy and Relationships

03:09

Changing Landscape of Dating and Relationships

05:58

Communication in Relationships

11:49

Expectations and Needs in Relationships

18:11

The Role of Empathy and Connection

24:01

Navigating Power Dynamics in Relationships

35:22

Redefining Generational Stereotypes in Relationships

39:06

The Dynamics of Relationship Roles

43:33

Navigating Childhood Scripts in Adult Relationships

49:11

Exploring the Importance of Sexual Communication

55:12

The Role of Anticipation and Playfulness in Sex

01:01:32

Breaking Taboos: The Conversation Around Masturbation

01:05:53

Understanding Limerence and Love

01:11:52

The Power Struggle in Relationships

01:17:20

Forgiveness and Conscious Uncoupling

01:23:22

Communication and Relationship Maintenance

01:29:00

Keeping Your Heart Open After Breakups

Keywords

intimacy, relationships, dating, communication, empathy,expectations, needs, power dynamics, connection, sex, relationships, communication, intimacy, therapy, sexual health, gender roles, emotional safety, childhood scripts, sexual exploration, consent, limerence, love, relationships, forgiveness, communication, conscious uncoupling, emotional health, couples therapy, intimacy, personal growth

In this episode, we explore and answer questions from you, our lovely listeners, on varying themes surrounding mental health, personal growth, and relationships. We discuss the ability to change one's mindset, the impact of our environment on personal development, and the importance of openness in relationships. We share our personal preferences regarding intimacy; our culinary preferences for a ‘last meal on Earth’; our chosen dinner party guests for a fictional dinner party; and Sam reveals his personal 'ick' list that highlights what he finds off-putting in relationships.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview

02:56 Mindset and Personal Growth

05:54 The Power of Change and Neuroplasticity

09:13 The Role of Environment in Shaping Mindset

11:58 Personal Experiences and Influences

14:47 Exploring Intimacy and Relationships

18:00 Influences in Life and Relationships

20:49 Death Row Meal: A Light-hearted Question

30:22 Culinary Delights: A Last Meal on Earth

36:56 Dinner Party Guests: Living, Dead, and Fictional

54:21 The ick List: What Turns Us Off

01:00:04 Closing Thoughts and Future Connections

In this episode, we discuss the challenges of transitioning into the season of winter and the importance of maintaining a positive mindset. We briefly discuss SAD and we talk about the concept of the 'Winter Arc,' a trending self-development initiative that encourages individuals to set personal goals and focus on self-improvement during the winter months. We discuss the importance of personal accountability, the psychology behind goal setting, and the challenges faced during the holiday season, particularly regarding fitness and personal choices. We delve into the complexities of holiday food traditions and the societal pressures surrounding New Year's resolutions. We talk about the nature of change, the impact of hitting rock bottom, and the statistics behind NY resolutions. We also discuss practical tips for maintaining well-being during the winter months and the significance of embracing change.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Initial Banter

06:01 Winter Mindset and Seasonal Changes

11:54 Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder

17:21 Setting Goals and Personal Accountability

24:52 Navigating the Holiday Season: Accountability and Choices

28:12 The Challenge of Holiday Indulgence

32:58 The Psychological Impact of Winter

36:47 Finding Joy Amidst Winter Blues

40:53 Holiday Traditions: The Pigs in Blankets Debate

41:57 The Psychology of New Year's Resolutions

42:49 The Importance of Change Anytime

43:46 Hitting Rock Bottom and Making Changes

44:41 The Statistics Behind Resolutions

45:52 Themes vs. Resolutions

46:52 The Concept of a New Year's Theme

47:51 Experiences Over Resolutions

48:41 Philosophy Shift in Goal Setting

49:51 Mitigating Failure in Goal Setting

50:57 Control Over Achievements

mental health, wellness, podcast, relationships, personal growth, monogamy, emotional intelligence, sexuality, self-love, communication, emotional availability, gender stereotypes, action orientation, decisiveness, stubbornness, single behaviours, time travel, personal growth, future aspirations, happiness

In this episode of 'Flex Your Feelings', we reflect on our journey through the podcast's first season, discussing the importance of light-hearted conversations around serious topics. We play a fun game of 'Ask Me Anything' and then the conversation deepens as we talk about the answers which we give and the experiences behind them. We laugh together as we share our experiences with each other, and with you.

mental health, wellness, sex positivity, communication, emotional intelligence, kinks, fetishes, relationships, intimacy, validation, relationships, boundaries, openness, sex positivity, communication, pornography, kinks, fetishes, emotional connection, sexual expression

In this episode, we delve into the complexities of sex, exploring themes of sex positivity, personal experiences, and the importance of communication in sexual relationships. We discuss the societal taboos surrounding sex, the role of consent and boundaries, and the significance of understanding kinks and fetishes. The conversation emphasizes the need for open dialogue about sexual preferences and experiences, highlighting that sex should be an enjoyable and fulfilling aspect of life. We emphasizes the need to move past shame associated with kinks and fetishes, advocating for a more positive and accepting view of sexual expression. We also critique the unrealistic expectations set by pornography and highlights the significance of healthy conversations about sex to foster intimacy and understanding between partners.

In this episode, we delve into the complexities of social expectations versus personal choices. We explore how upbringing, particularly parental influences, shape our understanding of what is 'right' for us. The conversation highlights the detrimental effects of comparison, especially in the age of social media, and emphasie the importance of authenticity and self-discovery. We encourage you to prioritise your own needs and desires over societal pressures, advocating for a journey towards self-acceptance and personal growth.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Setting the Topic

02:35 Comparing Yourself to Others and Social Expectations

08:22 Autonomy in Decision-Making

12:09 The Impact of Social Media on Comparison

18:23 Trusting Yourself and Making Personal Choices

25:56 Fear of Judgment and Hiding Personal Preferences

28:43 Embracing Authenticity and Celebrating Individuality

37:23 The Impact of Societal Expectations on Personal Choices

41:15 Navigating Social Media and Dealing with Judgment

49:02 The Importance of Self-Value and Prioritizing Yourself

In this episode of 'Flex Your Feelings', we delveinto the complex topic of heartbreak. We share our personal experiences, discussing the pain and transformative power that heartbreak can bring. Theconversation navigates through the stages of grief associated with heartbreak, the importance of self-reflection, and the necessity of taking time for oneself.We emphasize the significance of no contact post-breakup, the journey of self-improvement, and provide practical tips for healing. The episode concludeswith a message of hope, encouraging you to embrace your feelings and recognize the potential for growth after heartbreak.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Personal Experiences with Heartbreak

03:01 The Negative and Positive Sides of Heartbreak

09:41 The Evolution of Heartbreak and Lessons Learned

15:25 The Intensity and Distortion of Heartbreak

20:15 The Importance of Healing and Self-Compassion

23:31 Navigating the Healing Process After Heartbreak

26:44 The Power of No Contact

33:30 Embodying the Qualities You Want in a Partner

39:23 Embracing the Power of Being Single

46:21 Investing in Yourself and Personal Growth

55:59 Stop Blaming Yourself and Focus on the Positives

In this episode, we discuss stress and anxiety. We talk about the difference between stress and anxiety, with stress being a feeling state and anxiety being an emotion. We emphasize that stress and anxiety are natural parts of being human and cannot be completely eradicated. They also discuss the societal messages around stress and anxiety, with some viewing them as illnesses that need to be eliminated. Sam shares his personal experience of realizing that he created a lot of his own anxiety and stress. We highlight the importance of managing and coping with stress and anxiety rather than trying to eliminate them. Stress and anxiety can be both positive and negative, depending on perspective and the level of threat. It is subjective and varies from person to person. Overthinking and focusing on perceived threats can trigger stress and anxiety, even in safe situations. Planning and staying busy can help reduce anxiety by redirecting attention. However, it is important to not avoid or suppress emotions, but rather understand and process them. Self-awareness and therapy can help manage anxiety and stress by addressing the underlying triggers. Stress and anxiety can be debilitating experiences that can damage people's lives. It is important to educate people about what stress and anxiety are and how to navigate them. Society has gone through cycles of not talking about feelings to talking about them and now back to not talking about them. Some people make their anxiety or other mental health diagnoses their whole identity, which can be unhealthy. Stress and anxiety can be influenced by lifestyle factors, and it is important to address these factors before turning to medication. Taking personal responsibility and accountability for one's mental health is crucial for growth and development. The main takeaway is that talking about it is important, but action is also necessary for change. We discuss the idea that just talking about it is not enough and that taking steps to address the issue is crucial. We talk about being cautious not to against over-intellectualise and overthink stress and anxiety. One of the tips shared is to look up and gain perspective to help alleviate stress and anxiety. We discuss the statistical improbability of being born and how this perspective can help shift one's mindset. We emphasize the importance of taking responsibility for one's own well-being and seeking a healthier perspective. We also discuss the power of observation and learning from others who handle stress and anxiety well. Finally, we discuss the use of positive mantras or affirmations to shift perspective and promote a sense of well-being.

Helpful links:

Samaritans: 116 123

Mind Support Line: 0300 102 1234

In an emergency, call: 999

Lots of other helpful information about stress and anxiety is available online.