This episode is all about judgment: why we're so quick to hand out labels, and what happens when we stop. It started with a lightbulb moment at a family gathering that turned into a bit of a masterclass in how fast our brains reach for judgment over understanding.

We're digging into why choosing to believe that everyone — yes, even the guy who just cut you off in traffic — is doing their best can genuinely change how you move through the world. When we trade judgment for empathy, we lighten our own emotional load and make room for better relationships, too.

Grab your drink of choice and settle in — because understanding ourselves is the first step to understanding everyone else.

Takeaways:

• In a world filled with judgment, understanding that everyone is doing their best can radically transform our personal interactions and emotional well-being.
• Our brains naturally categorize actions as good or bad, but breaking free from this binary thinking can lead to more compassionate relationships.
• Being a life coach means navigating through my own judgments while helping others; it's a continuous journey of self-discovery and empathy.
• When we approach difficult interactions with understanding rather than judgment, we create an environment where everyone can thrive, including ourselves.

Links referenced in this episode:

• amandahest.ca/bookacall
• instagram.com/theamandahess

Life is messy. Yours, mine, everyone's. And somewhere along the way we decided that was the problem. Something to clean up before we're allowed to be happy.

It's not.

I'm Amanda Hess, certified life coach, and this episode is about a trap I watch women live in for years. The "I'll be happy when." When the house is calm. When the hard thing is over. When I finally have it together.

The messy and the hard don't come in a separate box from the beautiful and the fulfilling. Same box. Same life. It's 50/50, and that's not proof you're failing. That's just how it works.

So we stop waiting for the mess to clear. We lean in. And then we do the part that actually shifts things. We stop obsessing over what we're doing wrong and we start looking at what we want. Where we're going. Because that's the question that matters, and it's the one most of us never get to. We're too busy grading ourselves.

Takeaways:

1. The mess isn't blocking the good life. It's part of it. Stop waiting for a cleaner version that was never coming.
2. "Once I clean this up, then I'll thrive" is the trap. The hard and the beautiful come together. Same life, same day, both at once.
3. Life is 50/50. When you stop reading the hard half as proof you're behind, you can finally be where you actually are.
4. Drop the idea of "normal." Chasing it keeps you measuring your life against a standard that doesn't exist.
5. The move that changes everything: stop obsessing over what you're doing wrong and start building what feels right. What do you want? Where are you going? That matters more.

Links referenced in this episode:

1. amandahess.ca/bookacall

Summer isn’t always the sun-soaked paradise we imagine it to be, and today, we’re diving headfirst into the sticky, sometimes cringe-worthy world of summertime shame. It’s a unique flavor of shame that creeps up on us when we’re basking in the sun, and trust me, I’ve seen it pop up in all sorts of unexpected places. Whether it’s about how we look in a swimsuit or feeling like we should be doing more with our sunny days, this episode is all about unpacking that baggage. Together, we’ll explore why this shame is so prevalent and how it can drive our behaviors in ways that leave us feeling less-than-stellar. So, grab your favorite fruity drink, kick back, and let’s chat about how to recognize, confront, and ultimately embrace our summer selves without the guilt trip!

Takeaways:

1. Summer isn't just about sunshine and good vibes; it can also bring out some serious shame that we need to tackle head-on.
2. Understanding our shame during summer activities helps us reclaim our joy and embrace our bodies just as they are, flaws and all.
3. Shame often hides in the dark corners of our minds, but by bringing it into the light, we can explore and process it effectively.
4. Shifting our perspective on beauty standards allows us to redefine what we find beautiful about ourselves, moving away from societal pressure.

Links referenced in this episode:

1. amandahess.ca/bookacall

Here's this episode: I'm going after the thing nobody wants to name.

Everyone tells you the problem is that you don't love yourself enough. It's not. The problem is shame. That's it. That's the whole thing. Shame is what shows up the second you're anything less than perfect, and every single human on the planet has it — but women get handed a bigger pile of it. We're taught to feel shame about our bodies, our parenting, our work, the way we take up space in a room.

So no, I'm not going to tell you to love yourself harder. I'm going to ask you to look at the shame first.

I get into where it actually shows up — standing at a party feeling like you don't belong, swallowing what you were about to say in a meeting because some part of you decided it wasn't worth hearing. I tell you about my own. Because you can't love your way past something you won't look at.

Self-love isn't a place you arrive at. It's what happens when you stop running from your shame and get to know it instead. That's how you get your power back.

Takeaways:

• Self-love isn't about lacking shame; it's about embracing and navigating through it effectively.
• Shame is a universal experience; we all feel it, but it's how we handle it that matters.
• We're socialized to feel shame, especially as women, which can sabotage our self-worth and happiness.
• True self-love is an active, ongoing process, not just a one-time affirmation in front of a mirror.

Links referenced in this episode:

• amandahess.ca/bookacall

Are you a responsibility hoarder? Well, if you've ever felt like you’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, this episode is right up your alley! We’re diving headfirst into the intriguing concept of responsibility hoarding, a term that packs a punch and might just hit a little too close to home for some of us. We chat about how many of us take on responsibilities that are way outside our control, often at the expense of our own well-being. And guess what? It’s not just about the big stuff; those little things we worry about can pile up like laundry after a Netflix binge! So, grab a comfy seat, maybe a snack (or a plant, if you’re feeling fancy), and let’s unravel the layers of what it means to hoard responsibility and how we can break free from the shackles of other people's expectations. Trust me, by the end, you’ll see that the only responsibility you really need to focus on is your own fabulous self!

Ever found yourself in a pickle, feeling like you have to hold the universe on your shoulders? Welcome to the world of responsibility hoarding, where we take on the emotional weight of others, believing it’s our job to fix or manage their lives. In this engaging episode, we unpack the nuances of this behavior, diving deep into its roots and implications. Our conversation is peppered with real-life scenarios and a touch of humor, making the heavy topic of emotional responsibility feel a little lighter. We talk about the classic symptoms of responsibility hoarding, like being a people pleaser or feeling the need to control others’ emotional responses. Through a mix of thoughtful commentary and witty banter, we guide listeners to reflect on their own tendencies and consider the liberating truth that we are only responsible for ourselves. By the end, you’ll be equipped with insights that could revolutionize the way you approach relationships and self-care, all while having a few chuckles along the way!

Takeaways:

1. In this episode, we dive deep into the concept of responsibility hoarding and how it affects our mental well-being.
2. Are you a responsibility hoarder? Spoiler alert: it’s more common than you think, and it’s time to let go!
3. We explore the fine line between being responsible and taking on burdens that aren’t ours to bear, so grab your thinking cap!
4. Funny enough, being a collector of responsibilities can bring joy, while hoarding them? Not so much, and we break it down.
5. You can only control your actions, thoughts, and feelings—everyone else is off the hook, and that’s liberating, right?
6. Join us as we uncover how to shift the focus back to self-love and responsibility for oneself, not others.

Links referenced in this episode:

1. show-notes
2. apple-podcasts
3. book a discovery call: https://amandahess.ca/bookacall

Alright, folks! So today we’re diving headfirst into the wild world of self-criticism and the liberating idea that sometimes, the truth just doesn’t serve us. Picture this: you drop a glass and suddenly you’re the clumsy villain of your own story! But guess what? It’s time to flip the script! I’m here to chat with you about how our interpretations of our little blunders can spiral into a tsunami of self-loathing, and how we can break free from that cycle. We’ll unpack the notion that how we perceive our mess-ups—big or small—can shape our confidence and overall vibe in life. Trust me, realizing that life is messy and that we don’t need to play the blame game can be a total game-changer. So let’s kick that guilt to the curb and learn to be our own biggest cheerleaders instead! Ready? Let’s roll!

Takeaways:

1. Life is messy and embracing that messiness allows us to approach our emotions and experiences with more grace and understanding, instead of blame.
2. Understanding that our perceptions of truth can often hinder our growth is vital for personal development and emotional resilience.
3. Rather than focusing on whose fault it is when something goes wrong, we should ask ourselves how to move forward and what we can learn from the situation.
4. Shame and guilt are unhelpful emotions that can prevent us from making progress; instead, we should learn to be kind to ourselves and focus on constructive actions.
5. The narrative we create about ourselves in moments of failure can either propel us forward or hold us back, so we must choose our words carefully.
6. We often believe that attributing blame leads to accountability, but in reality, it can create more negativity; let’s focus on solutions instead.

Links referenced in this episode:

1. amandahest.ca/bookacall

Alright, folks, let’s dive into some juicy family dynamics! Today, we're peeling back the layers on why family gatherings feel like stepping into a well-rehearsed play where everyone knows their lines—especially those cringe-worthy ones. The real kicker? It’s not about the events themselves; it's about the patterns we’ve been stuck in since we were knee-high to a grasshopper. We're talking about those age-old scripts we keep repeating, and trust me, they’re not as random as you think. Spoiler alert: it’s your nervous system playing tricks on you, making you time travel back to your childhood every time Uncle Bob brings up politics at the barbecue. So grab your favorite snack, settle in, and let’s explore how we can break those patterns without putting the blame on anyone else—because, really, who has the energy for that?

Takeaways:

1. Navigating family dynamics often unveils deep-rooted patterns that we unknowingly perpetuate, impacting our emotional well-being.
2. The key to transforming how we interact with family involves reframing blame and focusing on personal accountability instead.
3. Our nervous systems have been conditioned from childhood to react in predictable ways during family gatherings, leading to emotional time travel.
4. Mastering the art of storytelling about our experiences can significantly alter our emotional responses and improve our overall happiness.

Links referenced in this episode:

1. amandahest.ca/bookacall