[0:00] Welcome and Introduction

[2:00] Why Ryanne Chose Coaching

Ryanne explains how she felt unsettled and overwhelmed before starting coaching.

She shares her experiences with therapy, which helped her understand her past but left her feeling stuck without tools to move forward.

After a friend’s recommendation and realizing her nervous system was out of balance, she decided to give coaching a try.

[6:30] Early Days of Coaching

Ryanne talks about the first steps we took together, focusing on managing anxiety and finding small coping mechanisms that worked for her.

She discovered sensory tools, like essential oils, which became a key part of her calming routine.

We shifted the focus from revisiting the past to creating strategies to move forward.

[12:15] Emotional Regulation and Self-Compassion

I explain how we worked on recognizing and riding emotional waves without judgment.

Ryanne reflects on learning self-compassion and how changing her inner dialogue made a significant difference.

We discuss the importance of separating emotions from reactions and becoming an observer of our feelings.

[18:45] Anxiety and Self-Acceptance

Ryanne shares her experience with anxiety and being diagnosed with ADHD.

I helped her reframe anxiety as a sign of care rather than a flaw or something to eliminate.

She explains how tools like journaling and nervous system regulation gave her space to navigate emotions and grow.

[25:00] Relationships and Triggers

We talk about how anxiety often shows up in relationships, triggering reactions tied to past experiences.

Ryanne shares how she learned to manage her emotions, communicate better, and regain clarity in her relationships.

[30:45] Building Confidence and the Snowball Effect

Ryanne discusses how small, consistent steps built her confidence over time.

I explain the importance of viewing self-growth as a process, not a destination.

She highlights how prioritizing physical health, like working out and eating nutritious food, supported her emotional well-being.

[38:30] Achieving Professional and Financial Goals

Ryanne shares how she hit a financial goal during our time working together.

She talks about shifting her mindset from dread to excitement in her career.

We worked on balancing her emotional bandwidth while staying motivated and productive.

[45:15] Self-Love and Acceptance

Ryanne reflects on how coaching helped her reconnect with her authentic self and embrace her strengths.

I remind listeners that they don’t need to become someone else—they already are enough. It’s about revealing and embracing who they truly are.

[50:30] The Transformation Process

Ryanne shares how coaching helped her feel less frantic and more grounded.

She talks about how small steps led to big changes, making her self-talk more positive and her confidence more natural.

I emphasize the importance of celebrating progress and being patient with yourself.

[56:00] Closing Thoughts

Ryanne encourages anyone considering coaching to take the leap, even if it feels like a small step.

I express my gratitude for Ryanne sharing her story and remind listeners how transformative coaching can be.

[58:30] Call to Action

I invite listeners who relate to Ryanne’s journey to book a call with me at amandahess.ca

I share that we can explore what’s going on for them and start working toward transformation.

[59:00] Wrap-Up

[00:00] **Why I’m Sharing This Episode**

- I recorded this episode on January 1st for my private, client-only podcast.

- I’m sharing it here so you can get a feel for my day-to-day support and also to highlight the core message on shifting from goal-setting to vision creation.

- I’m hosting a **90-minute Emotional Mastery Workshop** on January 8th, 2025, where I’ll guide attendees to:

- Reclaim control of their emotions and thoughts.

- Align with their deepest desires.

- Wake up daily with confidence, clarity, and joy.

- This workshop is open to only 10 people, so anyone interested can sign up at joinamanda.ca

[03:30] **My Reflection on 2025**

- I’m amazed that we’re already in 2025 and how time seems to fly.

- I want to shift the focus from typical goal-setting to **vision creation** because I find it more effective, fulfilling, and less anxiety-inducing.

[04:15] **Why I Favor Vision Creation Over Goal Setting**

- **Traditional Goal Setting** often makes us tie our self-worth to the outcome. If I meet the goal, I’m “good enough,” and if I don’t, I’m not.

- In my own life, I’ve gone to extremes when I was strictly “goal-oriented”—like unhealthy weight-loss methods—just to hit a target.

- **Vision Creation**, on the other hand, centers on the experience I want to cultivate and the values I want to honor.

[08:45] **How I Approach Vision Creation**

1. **Start with Emotions**:

- I ask myself which emotions I want to prioritize this year (e.g., peace, joy, satisfaction, love).

- These emotions become the foundation for my choices and actions.

2. **Align Goals with Values**:

- If satisfaction and joy are my priorities, I’ll check whether my goals—say, earning a certain amount of money—fit with these emotions.

- My actions will then be powered by feelings that are sustainable, rather than driven by anxiety or external pressure.

[12:00] **Decoupling Self-Worth from Achievements**

- I remind myself that my value as a person isn’t dependent on hitting a specific milestone.

- When I create a vision, I keep my self-worth separate from the final outcome. This frees me from burnout and fosters genuine growth.

[14:15] **Practical Steps for Vision Creation**

- I reflect on questions like:

- *What are the emotions I want to feel every day in 2025?*

- *What values guide the life I’m building?*

- *How can I take actions that align with these emotions and values?*

- This process gives me a sense of control, clarity, and consistent momentum.

[16:45] **My Offer to Help**

- If you’re my client, feel free to bring this up in our next session. I’d love to dive deeper and create a personalized vision for you.

- If you’re not a client but have access to this podcast, I invite you to book a **discovery call** at amandahess.ca. It’s a great way to explore how we can work together on your vision.

[18:00] **Closing & Call to Action**

- I encourage you to review these steps and start crafting your 2025 vision.

- Please consider leaving a review—it helps my podcast reach more people who need this message.

- If you’re ready to stop managing stress and anxiety alone, book a free consult with me at amandahess.ca

**Happy New Year, and here’s to a fulfilling and vision-driven 2025!**

In this episode I dive deep into the topic of overthinking. I explore why we overthink, how it affects our lives, and most importantly, how we can overcome it. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a loop of obsessive thoughts or struggling to quiet your mind, this episode is for you. I also share exciting details about my upcoming free masterclass on December 30th to help you make 2025 your most empowered year yet.

Timestamps:

[00:00] Welcome & Holiday Reflections
I share some Christmas Eve thoughts and how I’m preparing to help you create an incredible new year.

[02:45] Announcing My Free Masterclass
Details about “A New Year, A New You: Let’s End Overthinking” on December 30th at 5 PM PT / 8 PM ET. (Register at joinamanda.ca)

[05:30] Why Overthinking Happens
I discuss the common triggers of overthinking, from circumstantial stress to low-level anxiety.

[08:10] The Tug-of-War Analogy
Learn why trying to “logic” your way out of strong emotions often makes things worse.

[12:00] Overthinking vs. Emotional Safety
How overthinking arises from feelings of shame, guilt, worry, or fear—and why battling these emotions with thoughts doesn’t work.

[16:20] The Key to Breaking Free: Nervous System Regulation
I explain the importance of feeling emotions in your body and regulating your nervous system to reduce overthinking.

[19:40] Why “Positive Thinking” Isn’t the Solution
Discover why replacing negative thoughts with positive ones isn’t always effective.

[23:00] The Role of Specificity in Solving Problems
How focusing on specific issues instead of trying to “fix yourself” can change the way you think.

[27:15] Why Overthinking Wastes Time and Energy
I highlight how overthinking stops you from solving problems and reaching your goals.

[30:00] How You Can Take the Next Step
Why 2025 is your year to master your thoughts, control your emotions, and create the life you want.

[33:30] Final Thoughts & Call to Action
I encourage you to join my free masterclass and leave a review to help this podcast reach more women like you.

Links & Resources:

• Register for my free masterclass: A New Year, A New You: Let’s End Overthinking → joinamanda.ca
• Book a free consult with me → amandahess.ca/bookacall

- **[0:00]** - Welcome and reflection: "Can you believe it's already mid-December? Let’s make this moment count."

- **[1:00]** - Today, we’re diving deep into *emotional mastery*. You’ll learn how this transformative process can help you handle stress, build resilience, and create a life you love.

---

### The Big Idea: Every Problem Is an Emotions Problem

- **[2:30]** - I’ll show you why emotional mastery is the key to solving issues in relationships, parenting, money, career, and more.

- **[3:15]** - By the end of this episode, you’ll understand why emotions are at the root of so many challenges and how mastering them can change everything.

---

### A Client's Journey: Proof It’s Possible

- **[5:00]** - You’ll hear how one of my clients went from feeling stuck and overwhelmed to confident and in control using the emotional mastery process.

- **[6:15]** - I’ll share my own story too—how I broke free from constant pressure and perfectionism—and how you can do the same.

---

### Understanding Emotions

- **[7:45]** - You’ll learn what emotions really are (hint: they’re not thoughts!) and why understanding them is crucial.

- **[8:30]** - I’ll explain the stress responses—fight, flight, freeze, and fawn—and how they might be running your life without you even realizing it.

- **[10:00]** - You’ll start to see why emotional distress keeps happening and what you can do to stop it.

---

### Step 1: Proactive Nervous System Regulation

- **[12:00]** - Discover the difference between "911" nervous system regulation (what to do in the moment) and preventative practices (how to build resilience over time).

- **[13:30]** - I’ll show you easy, practical ways to regulate your nervous system daily—without spending a ton of time or money.

- **[15:00]** - You’ll leave with actionable tools to build emotional capacity so you can handle stressors without feeling overwhelmed.

---

### Step 2: Understanding and Guiding Emotions

- **[17:30]** - I’ll teach you how to interpret emotions as messengers rather than fighting or ignoring them.

- **[19:00]** - You’ll learn how to "ride the wave" of emotion without being overtaken by it—and how this simple skill can dramatically change your life.

- **[20:45]** - By the end of this section, you’ll know how to stop reacting to emotions impulsively and start directing them intentionally.

---

### Step 3: Creating Productive Thoughts, Beliefs, and Support Systems

- **[22:30]** - Learn why your current thoughts may be keeping you stuck and how to change the way you think for good.

- **[24:00]** - I’ll guide you through building beliefs about self-worth, lovability, and what’s possible for your future.

- **[25:30]** - You’ll walk away with a clear understanding of how to replace self-criticism with self-advocacy and start living the life you truly want.

---

### What Emotional Mastery Will Do for You

- **[27:00]** - By mastering this process, you’ll gain self-love, resilience, confidence, and fulfillment.

- **[28:15]** - You’ll see how emotional mastery impacts every area of your life, from your relationships to your career, and even your day-to-day joy.

---

### My Coaching Program: Take This Further

- **[29:30]** - I’ll share how my *Emotional Mastery Coaching Program* works and how it can help you create the life you’ve been dreaming of.

- **[31:00]** - You’ll learn what’s included: one-on-one coaching, daily private podcasts, and access to transformative trainings—all designed to help you succeed.

---

### Actionable Takeaways and Next Steps

- **[33:00]** - Before you go, I’ll help you reflect on how emotional mastery can shift your life—and encourage you to take the next step by booking a free consultation with me.

- **[34:30]** - Don’t forget: Every change starts with a decision. Let’s explore together how to make emotional mastery your reality.

---

### Closing

- **[35:00]** - Thank you for joining me today! Remember, a new episode drops every week. If you found this helpful, leave a review and share it with someone who needs it.

** Ready to take the next step? Book your free consultation now at [amandahess.ca/bookacall](https://amandahess.ca/bookacall). Let’s create the life you’ve always wanted!

**[3:25] Getting Started: Why Manifestation?**

- I share a personal update about teaching spin class while recovering from a cold.

- Introduction to the episode's focus: Manifestation.

- Initial thoughts on manifestation inspired by a business coach’s TikTok content.

- Connection between self-love and manifestation as a practical tool.

---

**[8:45] What is Manifestation?**

- Reflection on past trends like *The Secret* and how manifestation is often misunderstood.

- A non-spiritual, practical approach to manifestation: focusing on what you want to create.

- Identifying controllable vs. uncontrollable factors in life

---

**[14:30] Manifesting Your Goals**

- The importance of identifying where you are and why.

- Using curiosity, not judgment, to examine current circumstances.

- Emotions as the foundation of manifestation:

- How emotions affect energy, actions, and interactions.

- Examples: weight loss, relationships, financial goals.

---

**[21:10] The Emotional Component**

- Understanding and managing the emotional fuel needed for manifesting goals.

- Why confidence is often unavailable for new challenges, and how courage and resilience fill the gap.

- Emotions like love, care, and curiosity as drivers for relationship goals.

---

**[28:00] Example: Managing Conflict Through Emotional Energy**

- Story of resolving conflict with compassion during a challenging customer service experience.

- Lesson: Diffusing situations with empathy and manifesting better outcomes.

---

**[32:45] Emotional Literacy: Key to Manifestation**

- Most people lack the vocabulary to describe nuanced emotions.

- The role of an emotional thesaurus in identifying and processing emotions.

- Examples: shades of anger (e.g., jealousy, resentment) vs. positive emotions (e.g., fulfillment, satisfaction).

---

**[38:00] The Process of Manifestation**

1. Recognize and process negative emotions.

2. Build emotional capacity through nervous system regulation.

3. Generate emotions like courage or resilience to fuel forward motion.

4. Apply these skills to specific goals.

---

**[45:15] My Framework for Manifestation**

- Understanding manifestation as an emotional equation.

- Practical tools to grow emotional capacity and create desired results.

- Importance of small, actionable steps in coaching.

---

**[50:30]

- Manifestation is about energy, not manipulation or magic.

- Invitation to book a free discovery call for personalized guidance.

- Book at [amandahess.ca/bookacall](https://amandahess.ca/bookacall).

- Upcoming free training on manifestation in the Facebook group "Self Love Club."

- Join at [joinamanda.com](https://joinamanda.com).

- Encouragement to leave a review and share the podcast to help more women.

---

**[55:00] Final Thoughts**

- Manifestation is a skill worth developing for anyone wanting to create meaningful change.

- Gratitude for listeners and a promise of weekly episodes filled with insights and support.

---

**Links and Resources**

- Free Discovery Call: amandahess.ca/bookacall

- Join The Self-Love Club: joinamanda.ca

---

Thank you for listening! Don’t forget to subscribe and leave a review to help grow this podcast and support more women in their self-love journeys.

Curious about what coaching looks like? This is a real coaching session to help you see what you can expect. In this episode, I share a live coaching session with a courageous friend from my community. This session provides insight into what coaching can look like and how transformative it can be. You’ll hear moments of teaching, interruption to shift thought patterns, and examples of how coaching differs from traditional talk therapy.

**[00:00] Intro:**

- I explain the episode's premise and my approach to coaching.

- Emphasis on the blend of teaching and open-ended questions.

- Acknowledgment of gratitude for my guest’s vulnerability.

**[02:35] Starting the Coaching Session:**

- My guest and I exchange warm greetings.

- She shares feelings of being overstimulated after Christmas shopping.

- I set the tone for the session: exploring challenges and finding new perspectives.

**[06:10] Life Satisfaction Scale:**

- My guest rates her current life as a 7 out of 10.

- We discuss the reasons: good coping skills but struggles with overwhelm, reactivity, and balance.

**[09:45] Identifying Reactivity:**

- She shares that reactivity often stems from feeling overwhelmed.

- I delve deeper, asking why she dislikes reacting.

- She identifies the struggle of not listening fully and reacting prematurely.

**[15:00] Addressing Childhood Triggers:**

- My guest discusses a specific instance with her mother, a recovering addict.

- Scenario: Reactivity triggered by suspicion about her mother’s actions (leaving her car at the mall).

- She reflects on emotions like fear, disappointment, and feeling let down.

**[22:15] Exploring Disappointment and Boundaries:**

- I encourage separating adult and child relationships with parents.

- She shares childhood experiences of caretaking responsibilities and how these influence current dynamics.

- We discuss unhealed parts of ourselves and managing expectations.

**[30:00] Tools for Managing Reactivity:**

- I share strategies for responding less reactively:

- Recognizing emotional waves and allowing them to pass.

- Having compassion for oneself when triggered.

- Separating personal safety and well-being from the other person’s actions.

**[36:45] Shifting Perspectives:**

- I introduce the concept of “responsibility hoarding” and the false sense of control it creates.

- She reflects on how these tendencies show up in her relationship and parenting dynamics.

**[44:00] Building Emotional Capacity:**

- I explain grief and trauma as constants, using the “black dot” metaphor.

- Emphasis on growing emotional capacity to manage complex relationships.

- She considers replacing fear-driven actions with love-driven boundaries.

**[52:30] Practical Tools for Boundaries:**

- I advise slowing down decisions and creating mental space before responding to urgent requests.

- She reflects on recent boundary-setting successes and areas for improvement.

**[59:00] Clean Pain vs. Dirty Pain:**

- I differentiate between grieving past realities (“clean pain”) and unnecessary suffering caused by worrying about uncontrollable future outcomes (“dirty pain”).

- She acknowledges her tendency to spiral into “dirty pain” and commits to practicing self-awareness.

**[01:06:15] Final Reflections:**

- I highlight the importance of self-compassion and allowing emotional growth.

- She expresses gratitude for the tools and perspectives shared.

- I remind listeners that relationships, especially complex ones, are ongoing work but can improve with intentionality and love.

**[01:10:00] Closing:**

- I thank listeners for tuning in.

- Call-to-action: Leave a review and book a free consultation to tackle stress and anxiety for good.

---

**Links and Resources:**

- Want to try your own session? Book a free call: amandahess.ca

- Follow me on Instagram and share your thoughts about the episode! https://www.instagram.com/theamandahess/

In this episode, we delve into the complexities of gratitude. As American Thanksgiving approaches, gratitude becomes a hot topic, but is forcing gratitude always a good idea? I explore why it’s okay not to feel grateful during challenging times and how embracing intentionality and celebration can create genuine positive emotions. Listen in as I share personal stories, insights from coaching sessions, and actionable steps to help you break free from fake gratitude and step into a more fulfilling life.

Episode Highlights with Timestamps:

[00:00] - Introduction: Amanda introduces the topic of gratitude and explains the inspiration behind this episode—American Thanksgiving.

[02:30] - The Problem with Forced Gratitude: Amanda shares her perspective on why forcing gratitude can feel like gaslighting and why it’s often counterproductive during tough times.

[06:15] - Real Gratitude vs. Fake Gratitude: What is real gratitude? Amanda explains how genuine gratitude emerges naturally after processing emotions, rather than as a forced response.

[09:40] - The Power of CelebrationAmanda discusses how celebrating achievements, no matter how small, can be more impactful than surface-level gratitude practices.

[12:25] - Client Story: Finding Deeper CelebrationsA client’s journey to celebrating her ability to trust her own decisions rather than relying on others.

[14:45] - Why Gratitude Feels Hollow: Amanda shares how “ticking the gratitude box” often doesn’t spark meaningful change or fulfillment.

[17:30] - Overcoming Fear to Access Joy and Fulfillment: Using her own figure skating experience, Amanda illustrates how pushing through fear leads to deeper emotions of pride, excitement, and joy.[22:50] - Fear as the Gateway to Growth: Amanda reframes fear as a necessary component of growth and shares how discomfort can lead to significant emotional payoffs.

[26:10] - Practical Steps to Break Out of Your Comfort Zone: Amanda offers actionable advice on how to step out of your comfort zone and create more connection, joy, and excitement in your life.[30:15] - Coaching Strategies for Tackling Anxiety and Fear: Amanda discusses how breaking down anxiety into manageable pieces helps clients move past fears and achieve meaningful goals.

[34:00] - Why True Gratitude is Built Through Action: Amanda shares how living intentionally and taking courageous steps fosters authentic gratitude.

[37:40] - Call to Action: Amanda invites listeners to book a discovery call to begin their transformation journey and reminds them not to wait until the new year to start.

Key Quotes:

“If you’re forcing gratitude, it’s not gratitude; it’s gaslighting yourself.”

“Real gratitude comes when we’ve processed the hard stuff and see how it’s shaped us.”

“The price we pay for joy, pride, and fulfillment is stepping out of our comfort zones.”

“Don’t wait until the new year to start your transformation. You can start feeling different tomorrow.”

Resources Mentioned:

Book a Free Coaching Consultation: amandahess.ca/bookacall

Connect with Amanda on Social Media: Instagram | Tiktok

Leave a Review:If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback helps this podcast grow and reach more women who are ready to transform their lives.

Subscribe for Weekly Episodes:Don’t miss out! New episodes drop every week to help you manage stress, tackle fear, and live with intention.

In this episode, I welcome neurodiversity consultant Jenine Lillian to discuss their journey to an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis, overcoming societal expectations, and building an inclusive world. Janine shares their unique perspective, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance, connection, and actionable steps to live authentically.

- **[00:00] - Intro and Welcome**

Amanda introduces Jenine Lillian, highlighting their work as a neurodiversity consultant and their warm personality.

- **[02:00] - Jenine’s Journey to Diagnosis**

Jenine shares their story of receiving a formal autism diagnosis at 52 and the barriers they faced along the way.

- **[10:30] - Navigating Neurodivergence**

Jenine discusses the challenges of masking, societal expectations, and the importance of authentic connections.

- **[18:45] - Self-Care and Rest**

The power of walking without a phone, limiting sensory input, and finding joy in quiet moments.

- **[26:15] - Breaking Down Stereotypes**

Jenine shares why labels like “too sensitive” or “overly emotional” can be harmful and the need to treat people as individuals.

- **[34:50] - Building Community**

Amanda and Jenine reflect on the value of saying “good morning” and creating layers of connection in life.

- **[42:00] - Addressing Inner Criticism**

How self-worth, dismantling past trauma, and embracing optimism can lead to empowerment.

- **[50:30] - What Jenine Offers**

Jenine talks about their business, including workshops for employers, executive dysfunction support, and their role as a resource for adults navigating neurodivergence.

- **[57:15] - The Importance of Play and Experimentation**

Jenine encourages listeners to try new things and “try on” new ideas to discover what brings them joy.

- **[01:03:00] - Final Thoughts and Homework**

Jenine leaves listeners with practical homework: take 20 minutes today to do something restorative for yourself.

---

**Resources and Links**

**Connect with Jenine Lillian**:

Visit their website at jeninelillian.com

**Amanda’s Coaching Services**:

Book a free discovery call at amandahess.ca

---

**Key Quotes**

- *"There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s about finding the support you need to thrive."* – Janine Lillian

- *"When you give without expecting something in return, you find the most authentic connections."* – Amanda

---

If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and share it with someone who might benefit from Janine’s insights. Let’s build a world that’s more inclusive for everyone!

Jenine Lillian Bio

Jenine Lillian (Jenine, they/them) is a Neurodiversity Consultant, educator, artist, writer,

and librarian. For more than 20 years, Jenine has taught and presented across the

public library sector in both the United States and Canada. Jenine has received national

recognition for their advocacy and library work with teens. After receiving a very

late-in-life diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD), Jenine started their

neurodiversity consultancy to raise awareness, reduce stigma and increase inclusion for

neurodiversity and other invisible disabilities. Jenine lives in the Kootenays, British

Columbia, where they can be found making art, talking with folks on sidewalks,

birdwatching, building community through service and networking, and practicing

self-care. You can reach Jenine at info@jeninelillian.com and explore their website at

www.jeninelillian.com.

Contact Jenine Lillian

info@jeninelillian.com email

www.jeninelillian.com website