One of the most deeply rooted feelings which can cause volatile leadership behavior is the feeling of insecurity. We all feel insecure from time to time, and leaders aren’t excluded. Insecurity may express itself in the need to take on more projects, or accumulate more and more titles, or by verbally lashing out.

Executive coaches see this volatile and inconsistent behaviour in executives quite often as they are given the task of helping executive be more consistent and balanced in their approach to their leadership

When referencing Dan Harrison, of Harrison Assessments Int’l Ltd, who bases his focus on paradox theory. That is, a trait can be constructive or destructive depending on other complimentary traits and how balanced one is in these behaviours. It provides more clarity on the insecurity issue.

For example, self-criticism is often linked to the strong need to ‘better oneself.’ The complimentary trait is self-acceptance, that is, one is okay with who they are. Both traits are important, and having them reasonably balanced in strength allows the executive to be flexible, and by using both traits, giving them more balance in the way they react and behave.

So, what causes the imbalance?

Insecurity is deeply rooted, and most likely stems from a time in childhood hearing over and over that they can’t do something, or weren’t good enough, being compared to either siblings or friends, or having been singled out in class repeatedly by a teacher.

This internal belief about not being good enough, or worse being a failure, has established its own destructive dynamic over the years by attracting a variety of different experiences into their life which deeply informed their understanding of who they were.

Insecurity often causes people to become defensive about their actions or opinions, leading very often to aggressive behavior.

On the other end of the scale one finds an overly arrogant behavior, which is a defense mechanism as well.

In the coaching relationship, we would aim at finding the root cause of the client’s insecurity. And even in this process of finding the root cause, clients may become defensive.

Skillful questions, the exploration of memories and the invitation for self-reflection are helpful tools to allow the client to open up to answers from the subconscious.

Once the source of the insecurity has been brought to the client’s awareness it is easy to develop the right strategies together with the client to overcome it.

Rather than being caught up in a defeating pattern of self-depreciation, without insecurity, the client’s ability to assess their strengths and weaknesses objectively increases.

Soul-Inspired-Leadership has developed services that can help to create this desired change.

For further details on how we help coaches be more robust in their coaching offer.

Please click here for our range of products and services.