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  • Ep 380 Raising the Grade with Anne Rahe and Daniel

    Ep 380 Raising the Grade with Anne Rahe and Daniel
    2025/07/08
    Zach sits down with Anna Rahe, fascia expert and founder of Genius of Flexibility, and her husband Daniel for an honest, layered conversation about what it looks like to “raise the grade” in a long-term partnership. As Anna and Daniel explore the habits they’re unlearning—and the ones they’re trying to reinforce—they reflect on the small ways they grade their relationship, how conflict becomes a chance to build trust, and why staying curious about each other matters more than winning any argument. You’ll hear how their somatic awareness, emotional mismatches, and willingness to slow down help them stretch not just their bodies, but their capacity for connection. Key Takeaways The grade you give your relationship changes Anna reflects on how her internal scorecard has shifted over time. Repair is a practice, not a performance Daniel shares that real progress means learning not to rush to a fix but to create space for the process. “Holding space” takes effort and awareness Instead of stepping in to fix things, Daniel is learning to simply stay present and supportive. Curiosity beats control Both agree that asking, “What’s going on for you?” opens more connection than trying to solve or control. Guest Info Anna Rahe Founder of Genius of Flexibility, Anna Rahe is an educator, somatic practitioner, and fascia expert dedicated to helping people unlock emotional and physical healing through the body’s connective tissue. Her work has appeared in Goop, Vogue, and TEDx. Daniel Daniel is Anna’s husband and partner in the slow, intentional work of emotional growth. His grounded presence, self-awareness, and reflections on support and repair add depth and relatability to this episode. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    53 分
  • Ep 379 Emotional Fluency, Acting, and Getting It Wrong Sometimes with Victoria Shalet and Adam James

    Ep 379 Emotional Fluency, Acting, and Getting It Wrong Sometimes with Victoria Shalet and Adam James
    2025/07/01
    Zach sits down with couple Victoria Shalet and Adam James for a thoughtful and honest conversation about navigating the complexities of partnership. Drawing from their experiences in psychotherapy and performance, they unpack how their personal and professional worlds inform the way they connect, communicate, and occasionally clash. Through light banter and open reflection, they explore moments of conflict, the importance of language in de-escalating tension, and the ways in which curiosity and humor keep them grounded. The episode offers listeners a window into a real, evolving relationship—complete with vulnerability, insight, and a shared desire to do better. Key Takeaways Words carry emotional weightReplacing phrases like “that’s crazy” with “that’s surprising” can reduce defensiveness and create more space for empathy. Curiosity is a relationship strengthBeing able to ask your partner, “What’s really going on here?” rather than jumping to conclusions can keep you connected even in disagreement. Repair isn’t a performanceWhat matters most is showing up after a rupture and trying again, not always getting it perfect in the moment. Therapy and acting intersectUnderstanding roles, scripts, and self-reflection can enrich how we navigate relational dynamics—but they don’t make us immune to the mess. Laughter lightens the loadHumor isn’t just a relief valve—it’s a tool for staying close during tough conversations. Guest Info Victoria ShaletA former actor turned psychotherapist, Victoria now works with clients to build emotional resilience and deeper self-awareness. Her therapeutic lens brings nuance and reflection to how she shows up in her relationship. Learn more at spaceinme.com. Adam JamesAdam is a seasoned British actor with credits across television, theatre, and film, including roles in Doctor Foster, I May Destroy You, and Belgravia. His insight into communication, presence, and emotional fluency offers a unique complement to his partner’s therapeutic perspective. View his work at IMDb. Key Takeaways Guest Info Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    49 分
  • Ep 378 When Labels Hurt More Than They Help - Dr. Shannon Curry

    Ep 378 When Labels Hurt More Than They Help - Dr. Shannon Curry
    2025/06/24
    Zach is joined again by clinical and forensic psychologist Dr. Shannon Curry for a direct and thoughtful exploration of how language shapes conflict in relationships. Together, they dissect common but often misused terms like “narcissist,” “gaslighting,” and “codependent,” highlighting the real harm that can come from assigning labels without clear definitions or clinical backing. Shannon brings clarity and nuance to a conversation that many couples face in therapy: how do you talk about what’s not working without turning your partner into a diagnosis? They explore why describing behavior—not assigning blame—builds trust and forward movement. The conversation also touches on the research around what actually predicts relationship success and how couples can stay grounded in hope and creativity, even in difficult seasons. Key Takeaways The problem with labelingTerms like “narcissist” and “gaslighter” are frequently misapplied. Talk about behavior, not pathologyYou don’t need a diagnosis to identify harmful or unhelpful dynamics. Focusing on specific behaviors allows for clarity and change. The traits that actually matterZach discusses the importance of approaching our relationship with hope and creativity. Guest Info Dr. Shannon CurryDr. Curry is a clinical and forensic psychologist with advanced training in trauma therapy, couples counseling, and high-conflict relational dynamics. She is the founder of the Curry Psychology Group, a team-based mental health practice in Southern California. Shannon is known for her clarity, compassion, and expertise in both therapeutic and legal settings. Website: currypsychgroup.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    51 分
  • Ep 377 Three Traits That Predict Relationship Happiness - Dr. Shannon Curry

    Ep 377 Three Traits That Predict Relationship Happiness - Dr. Shannon Curry
    2025/06/17
    Zach continues his conversation with clinical psychologist Dr. Shannon Curry for a vulnerable and intellectually engaging conversation that blends personal storytelling, relationship science, and unexpected insight. Shannon opens up about how her own relationship defied her expectations, thanks to what she learned from psychologist Tai Tashiro’s research on the three personality traits that lead to lasting happiness. They dive into what it means to choose a partner based on substance over spark, how grief and trauma can shape family planning decisions, and why admiration—not just chemistry—can sustain love. Shannon also shares her deeply personal journey of caring for her father through dementia and how it’s connected to her professional values and sense of purpose. This episode is rich with real-life honesty, expert-backed wisdom, and the kind of reflective conversation that stays with you long after the final minute. Key Takeaways The Three Relationship Traits That Matter Most: According to Tai Tashiro’s research, conscientiousness, low neuroticism, and moderate adventurousness are better predictors of lasting relationship satisfaction than looks or wealth. Choosing the Right Kind of Chemistry: True intimacy often comes from admiration and emotional safety, not physical attraction alone. Love Without Children: Shannon shares why she and her husband Ty are "childless by choice" and how past grief shaped that decision. Caregiving as Sacred Work: Shannon reflects on caring for her father through dementia and how her training as a psychologist helps her meet his needs with dignity and compassion. Letting Go of the Checklist: Her personal love story challenges societal norms around partner selection and encourages listeners to rethink what really leads to long-term happiness. Guest Info Dr. Shannon Curry Clinical and forensic psychologist Founder of Curry Psychology Group Certified in the Gottman Method High-profile expert witness and advocate for healthy relationships @currypsychgroup on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    29 分
  • Ep 376 Dr. Shannon Curry on Trust, Triangulation, and Telling the Truth

    Ep 376 Dr. Shannon Curry on Trust, Triangulation, and Telling the Truth
    2025/06/10
    Zach sits down with Dr. Shannon Curry—clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and founder of the Curry Psychology Group—for a nuanced discussion about what happens when couples “team up” against their therapist in session. Drawing on her forensic background and deep clinical insight, Shannon explores the subtle dynamics of triangulation, conflict avoidance, and the emotional strategies people learn early in life to stay safe in relationships. Together, Zach and Shannon talk about how the therapeutic space can trigger old wounds, what it takes to speak hard truths in love, and why being emotionally honest is often the most generous thing a partner can do. With warmth, curiosity, and real-life anecdotes, this episode speaks directly to the complexity of partnership—and the courage it takes to grow within one. Key Takeaways When Couples Turn on the TherapistShannon shares how one partner will sometimes rush to “protect” the other during difficult feedback, forming an unconscious alliance that derails growth—and puts the therapist in the role of the enemy. Emotional Manipulation as a Survival StrategyMany clients learn passive or controlling behaviors in childhood because direct expression wasn’t safe. These aren’t character flaws—they’re adaptive tools that once worked. Conflict as a MirrorThe messiest moments in therapy often reflect old attachment wounds. Shannon emphasizes that when conflict emerges in session, it's not a sign of failure—it’s a signal of something important beneath the surface. The Generosity of TruthZach proposes a compelling reframe: that emotional honesty—even when it’s uncomfortable—is a gift of generosity in relationships. Shannon agrees, calling truth-telling a spiritual value in her work. The Truth Will Set You Free... EventuallySometimes growth hurts. Shannon shares a quote from her boarding school that sticks with her: “The truth will set you free—but first it will make you miserable.” Guest Info Dr. Shannon Curry Clinical and forensic psychologist Founder of Curry Psychology Group Certified in the Gottman Method High-profile expert witness and advocate for healthy relationships @currypsychgroup on Instagram Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    40 分
  • Ep 375 Behind Closed Doors with Laura and Ryan Heck

    Ep 375 Behind Closed Doors with Laura and Ryan Heck
    2025/06/03
    Previously available only to our Patreon supporters, this special episode of So I Married a Relationship Expert is now being released to the full Marriage Therapy Radio audience. In this candid and heartfelt conversation, Zach interviews his longtime co-host, Laura Heck, and her husband, Ryan Heck, to explore what it’s really like to be married to a relationship expert. You’ll hear honest reflections, unexpected challenges, and plenty of humor as they open up about the reality behind the podcast mic. Laura and Ryan talk about how therapy shaped (and sometimes complicated) their dynamic, what they’ve learned about conflict and connection over the years, and how their relationship continues to grow. It’s real, it’s vulnerable, and it’s full of insights that any couple, expert or not, can relate to. This is real life, not a therapy room: Laura explains how her skills as a therapist don’t always transfer cleanly into her marriage. Conflict isn’t failure: Ryan shares how he used to fear that fighting meant something was wrong, and how he’s redefined that belief. Growth takes time (and patience): Both Laura and Ryan open up about how emotional literacy didn’t come naturally, and still requires practice. Connection over perfection: A recurring theme in the conversation is letting go of being right or perfectly understood, and focusing instead on meaningful connection. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    56 分
  • Ep 374 Our Wedding Was Perfect. Then Our Relationship Fell Apart: Baya & Emmy’s Story

    Ep 374 Our Wedding Was Perfect. Then Our Relationship Fell Apart: Baya & Emmy’s Story
    2025/05/27
    Zach sits down with Baya Voce and Emmy Bush to talk about falling in love hard and fast, hitting a wall after the wedding, and what it takes to rebuild a relationship rooted in honesty, health, and play. The couple, known for their wildly creative wedding (think Burning Man meets RuPaul meets adult summer camp), dive deep into what really happened once the party ended. They speak candidly about the emotional fallout after getting married, the surprising way attachment systems get triggered by commitment, and how chronic health issues nearly broke them. What followed was not a breakup—but a rebuilding. One that required therapy, nervous system repair, personal accountability, and a whole lot of humor. Baya and Emmy don’t just offer advice—they embody a kind of radical relational creativity. You’ll hear about their cake competitions, their “Spock Mind Meld” reconnection rituals, and their profound respect for giving each other freedom inside commitment. Key Takeaways Commitment Triggers the Nervous SystemGetting married activated their attachment systems in a new way, challenging their sense of freedom and safety. This is a common but under-discussed phenomenon in newlyweds. Health Impacts ConflictPost-wedding, Emmy’s health deteriorated due to mold toxicity, and Baya’s stress response was in overdrive. Their physical states made emotional regulation nearly impossible, leading to what they called “nothing burgers” turning into huge fights. Processing Isn’t Always the AnswerDespite being a therapist and being in therapy, they realized their go-to relationship tools (like deep processing) weren’t what the relationship needed. What it needed was play, softness, and space. Staying = GrowingThey describe “packing their bags but never leaving,” demonstrating that staying through the hard parts gave them the space to evolve as individuals and as a couple. The Relationship Is Its Own EntityInspired by their mentor, Baya describes how the relationship has its own needs, separate from individual preferences. Honoring those needs became the key to rebuilding trust and connection. Guest Socials https://www.instagram.com/baya_voce/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    1 時間 4 分
  • Ep 373 Building a Friendship That Lasts Beyond Parenting

    Ep 373 Building a Friendship That Lasts Beyond Parenting
    2025/05/20
    Zach is joined by Darren and LaVerna Wilk to explore the journey of maintaining a thriving marriage through the transitions of parenting, fostering, and embracing the empty nest phase. With over 35 years of marriage and five daughters, they share insights on shifting from parenting to partnership, cultivating friendship, and keeping their relationship adventurous. They discuss planning intentional "midlife crises" to infuse novelty into their marriage, the importance of repair as a core practice, and how prioritizing their relationship has strengthened their family. Their experiences as foster parents and therapists provide a unique perspective on building resilience and connection in long-term relationships.Best Marriages Key Takeaways Embracing the Empty Nest: LaVerna reflects on finding joy and predictability in an empty house, and how her relationships with her daughters have flourished as they gained independence. Intentional Midlife Adventures: The Wilks share how planning shared adventures, like off-road Jeep trips, has brought excitement and growth to their marriage. The Power of Repair: They emphasize that conflict resolution is about building the muscle of repair, trusting that they can return to and resolve issues when ready. Marriage as the Foundation: Prioritizing their marriage, even when it meant disappointing their children, has been key to their enduring partnership. Reconnection Rituals: After time apart, they use intentional rituals to reconnect and realign emotionally, ensuring their bond remains strong. Darren Wilk, R.C.C., M.A., C.G.T. and LaVerna Wilk, R.C.C., M.C., C.G.T. Co-founders of Best Marriages Certified Gottman Therapist and Advanced Trainer Best Marriages Couples counseling center based in Langley, BC Offers Gottman Method therapy, workshops, and intensive sessions Visit Best Marriages Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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    46 分