There’s a railway station in Ireland that exists for one purpose only, not to arrive, not to stay, but to move on.

In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn explores a moment that many of us recognise but rarely name. The point at which learning has done its job. The point at which guidance, coaching, or even a philosophy has taken us as far as it can.

Drawing on the teachings of Epictetus and decades of experience in coaching and leadership development, this episode examines the subtle differences between growth and comfort, loyalty and dependency, and staying because it helps… and staying because it feels safe.

It’s a reflection for anyone who has ever asked:

Am I still growing here, or am I just comfortable?

As Season 4 approaches its close, this episode also marks a quiet shift in direction for the podcast, moving beyond its Stoic foundations while keeping the core question at its heart, the gap between intention and action.

In this episode:

• Why the best students eventually leave
• The hidden risk of staying too long in coaching or mentorship
• The difference between support and dependency
• What Epictetus really expected of his students
• Recognising when the work is complete

Closing reflection:

Who would you be, and what would you do, if you trusted that you’d already learned what you came to learn?

Follow Mind the Gap to stay connected as we move toward the final episode of Season 4 next week.

We’ve all met them.

The person who can hold the floor without drawing breath. The one who doesn’t quite notice when someone else is trying to speak. The conversation that somehow becomes… one-sided.

In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn takes a thoughtful and quietly humorous look at what it really means to be “a bore.”

Taking inspiration from a line in Dancing Queen by ABBA, “I’m nothing special… in fact, I’m a bit of a bore,” this episode moves beyond the joke to explore something more revealing.

Because being a bore isn’t just about talking too much.

It’s about awareness. Or the lack of it.

It’s about what happens when conversation stops being a shared experience and becomes something more like a performance, with an audience that never quite agreed to be there.

But rather than pointing outward, this episode turns the lens gently back on ourselves.

Where do we miss the cues?

Where do we hold the floor a little too long?

And what does it take to bring a conversation back into balance?

This also marks the 80th episode of Mind the Gap since the podcast began.

A small milestone, and perhaps a fitting moment to reflect on something so central to the series itself, how we connect, how we listen, and how easily we can miss what’s right in front of us.

There’s humour here, certainly. A moment of social theatre you may recognise.

But there’s also something more useful underneath it.

A reminder that good conversation isn’t about saying more.

It’s about noticing more.

In this episode:

• Why being “a bore” has less to do with talking, and more to do with awareness
• The subtle signals we miss in everyday conversation
• How one-sided dialogue quietly erodes connection
• Practical ways to rebalance conversations without confrontation
• A simple question to carry into your next interaction

If you enjoy Mind the Gap, follow or subscribe and share the episode with someone who values thoughtful conversation.

Michael’s books are also available on Amazon.

You walk into a café. The coffee is perfect. The service is efficient. And not once does anyone look at you.

This episode starts with that small absence — and follows it somewhere unexpected. Through the emotional labour of public-facing work, the quiet logic of the screen, and the generational shift in what an interaction is even supposed to contain.

Eye contact is not a nicety. It never was. And its disappearance says something about all of us — not just the people behind the counter.

Mind the Gap with Michael Comyn.

Before offering advice, ask a quieter question

“You know what you should do.”

Five familiar words, usually offered with kindness, sometimes with genuine care. Yet when we hear them, something small inside us can quietly deflate.

In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn reflects on the hidden tension inside unsolicited advice. When someone brings us a problem, are they really asking for a solution, or are they asking to be heard?

Drawing on his experience as a coach and communicator, Michael explores the difference between fixing and listening, and why the urge to solve someone else’s difficulty may sometimes be about easing our own discomfort.

Before the advice arrives, there may be a better question to ask.

What does this person actually need from me right now?

In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn explores a quiet but uncomfortable question.

Is it acceptable to feel content while the world around us seems unsettled?

With images of war, political unrest, and global tension constantly appearing in our news feeds, many people feel a subtle sense of guilt when moments of calm arise in their own lives. Does feeling steady mean we are disengaged? Or is contentment something else entirely?

Drawing on the research of positive psychology pioneer Barbara Fredrickson and insights from Stoic philosophers such as Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, and Cleanthes, Michael reflects on how the human nervous system responds to uncertainty and why chronic agitation rarely produces wisdom or compassion.

The episode also introduces a practical idea drawn from resilience research: creating moments of certainty when life feels unstable. Small routines, rituals, and predictable anchors can help restore psychological balance and allow clearer thinking when resilience is low.

Along the way, Michael reflects on his own experience in broadcasting, where the simple certainty of announcing the time once helped bring order and structure to the rhythm of the day.

This is not an episode about ignoring the world’s suffering. It is about understanding the difference between indifference and steadiness, and recognising that emotional regulation may be one of the most responsible ways we can show up for the people around us.

In this episode:

• Why contentment is often misunderstood

• The Broaden and Build Theory of positive emotions

• Stoic insights into control, acceptance, and emotional steadiness

• Viktor Frankl on the space between stimulus and response

• How creating small “moments of certainty” can restore resilience

• The ripple effect of emotional tone in leadership and daily life

Michael Comyn is an executive coach, broadcaster, and host of the Mind the Gap podcast, where philosophy, psychology, and emotional intelligence meet everyday experience.

If you enjoy the podcast, you can also explore Michael’s books available on Amazon, where many of these ideas are developed further.

In 1954, Smile became an anthem of quiet endurance. The melody was written by Charlie Chaplin for the closing scene of Modern Times, with lyrics later added by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons.

Recorded memorably by Nat King Cole, the song urges us to smile though the heart is breaking, to keep trying, to believe life is still worthwhile.

But what does that really mean in professional life?

In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn explores the concept of emotional labour, first described by sociologist Arlie Hochschild in The Managed Heart. He unpacks the difference between shallow acting, where we fake the emotion, and deep acting, where we attempt to align our internal state with what the moment requires.

This conversation includes:

• A personal reflection on delivering a training programme during a week of grief

• The emotional demands placed on nurses, doctors and leaders who must hold steady for others

• Why acting is not necessarily dishonesty

• The hidden cost of always being composed

• How emotional intelligence helps us protect ourselves while still serving others

Acting, Michael suggests, is not automatically false. Sometimes it is disciplined self-care. Sometimes it is leadership. The real question is whether we know the difference and how to recover afterwards.

If you would like to explore these themes further, Michael’s books Mind the Gap and The Next Station Is… are available on Amazon.

Thank you for listening.

Mind the Age Gap | Retirement Age, Identity and the Psychology of Ageing

What does retirement age really mean in modern life?

In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael Comyn explores the idea of the “age gap” — the gap between chronological age and how we actually experience ourselves.

The reflection begins with a moment in a bank: an older couple being gently coached through online banking. They were not confused. They looked displaced. That observation opens a wider discussion about ageing, identity, and the subtle ways institutions categorise people after 65.

Retirement age began as a 19th-century pension policy in Germany. Over time, it evolved into a powerful cultural label. Today, that label influences marketing, workplace perceptions, digital design, and even the tone of television advertising.

In this episode, Michael explores:

• The history of retirement age and its origins in public policy

• The psychology of subjective age and why most adults over 60 feel younger than their years

• The impact of marketing stereotypes, including the Werther’s Original “grandfather” campaign

• Why certain UK television channels seem dominated by funeral and cremation advertising

• The cultural reality that people now in their seventies once danced to The Rolling Stones

• Why ageing is not the issue, dismissal is

This episode blends psychology, leadership insight, cultural observation, and personal reflection to ask a simple question:

Is the real gap between 50 and 65 — or between vitality and resignation?

If you’ve ever felt younger than your demographic category, or sensed the system quietly repositioning you, this conversation will resonate.

https://amzn.eu/d/irNfaHO

This week, during a leadership course, a participant shared a line from her father that stopped the room:

“Whatever the mistake, it’s the lie afterwards that hurts more.”

In this episode of Mind the Gap, Michael explores why that simple sentence holds up across high-trust professions and high-pressure environments.

From medical errors in hospital settings to cockpit decision-making in aviation, from financial oversight to corporate governance, the issue is rarely the original human error. The more serious damage often comes from concealment.

This episode examines:

• The difference between human error and reckless behaviour

• What Just Culture really means in healthcare and aviation

• Why psychological safety determines whether truth surfaces early

• How fear of punishment drives cover-ups

• Why timely honesty strengthens trust rather than weakens it

Drawing on insights from leadership coaching, aviation training and emotional intelligence, Michael reflects on why cultures collapse not because people are imperfect, but because people feel unsafe admitting imperfection.

If you lead a team, work in a regulated profession, or simply care about integrity in relationships, this episode asks a direct question:

Do people around you believe they can survive being wrong?

About Mind the Gap

Mind the Gap is a leadership and emotional intelligence podcast hosted by Michael Comyn, broadcaster, author and executive coach. Each episode explores the space between intention and impact, and the small decisions that shape trust, culture and character.

Michael’s books Mind the Gap, The Next Station Is… and Between the Lines are available on Amazon.

Follow the podcast for weekly reflections on leadership, communication and the psychology behind how we show up.