Let’s get something straight: physical needs are important and must be provided for. But, emotional needs are equally important. In my work I have specifically developed an exercise to get couples to begin to recognize these needs and how they can go about them to improve the provision of satisfying the emotional requirements that we all have.

Here are the Emotional Needs:

Control
Love
Respect
Trust
Security
Affection
Purpose
Faith

Every person has a need for these in their lives, but here is where things get interesting.

Think about needs like you would think about food. We all need a certain number of calories in order to survive. We would never look at a person that needs 3000 cal/day and tell them they should just eat 1500 cal/day because that’s what another person needs. We are all different with different levels of need. The same holds true with the emotional needs.

Just for the sake of having a reference point, use a scale of 1-10 and rate yourself in each of the following emotional needs. For right now, don’t think too much, just give yourself a score and reason why you scored yourself that number. (We all have slightly different definitions and territories, or “taste” in each of these areas. Just like food!)

What happens when you don’t get the amount or type of food you need? Hungry, malnourished, etc… The same holds true with not reaching the number you wrote next to your emotional need. You begin to starve emotionally!

Here’s where provision comes in. Within our marriage, we have the responsibility to help meet the needs of our spouse. This includes emotional needs. And as I said earlier, seldom do we see a couple due to a physical need not being met, food, water, shelter, but, we regularly see couples because emotional needs are not being met.


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As a Strong Dad and husband, we are to honor our wives. Proverbs 31 gives us a biblical description of this lady.

Proverbs 31:10-31 (NIV):

10 A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband can trust her, and she will enrich his life. 12 She brings him good and not harm all the days of her life. 13 She is a diligent and hardworking woman. 14 She rises while it is still dark and provides food for her household and tasks for her servants. 15 She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. 16 She girds her loins with strength and makes her arms strong. 17 She sees that her trading is profitable; her lamp does not go out at night. 18 She puts her hands to the spindle and her fingers to the loom. 19 She generously opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hand to the needy. 20 She does not fear the snow for her household, for all her family are clothed in scarlet. 21 She makes coverings for her bed and linen garments for herself. 22 Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. 23 She makes linen garments and sells them, and belts for the merchants. 24 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she laughs without fear of the future. 25 She speaks with wisdom, and her tongue gives instruction. 26 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. 27 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband praises her: “Many women have done noble things, but you surpass them all.” 28 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 29 Give her the praise she deserves; let her deeds proclaim her worth. 30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. 31 Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

A Guide to Honoring Your Wife, Based on Proverbs 31:10-31

What to Do:

• Respect her intelligence and abilities. Acknowledge her contributions and value her opinions.
• Provide for her needs. Ensure she has everything she needs, both materially and emotionally.
• Be faithful to her. Maintain emotional and physical fidelity.
• Praise her publicly. Celebrate her accomplishments and virtues in front of others.
• Listen to her attentively. Give her your undivided attention when she speaks.
• Support her dreams. Encourage her aspirations and help her achieve her goals.
• Be gentle with her. Treat her with kindness and compassion.
• Be patient with her. Understand that she may have different perspectives or needs.
• Be a source of strength for her. Offer support and encouragement during difficult times.
• Love her unconditionally. Show her your love and affection every day.

What Not to Do:

• Belittle her. Never make her feel small or insignificant.
• Control her. Allow her to make her own decisions.
• Neglect her. Spend quality time with her and show her that she is important to you.
• Criticize her. Focus on her strengths and avoid negative comments.
• Lie to her. Honesty is essential in a healthy relationship.
• Take her for granted. Appreciate and cherish her.
• Be selfish. Put her needs before you

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It is estimated that at least 40% of all families in the United States are Blended Families. Whether it be divorce, death of a spouse, or adoption, in some form or another, we find ourselves blending together families members that are not of the same biological descent. In fact, both Hutch and Carl are in blended family situations.

This show tackles the many different dynamics that the blended family presents. It is not unusual for couples to go into this situation with their eyes closed to all the possible challenges they will be facing. Differing cultures, genetics, and environments are just the start of what the blended family will be dealing with.

The goal of this show is not to scare people away from blending their family with another. Rather, to educate and inform in order to help couples prepare for what they may be experiencing down the road. Learning to communicate the challenges and develop and understanding of how to approach them as a couple will go a long way in reducing problems to more manageable levels.

One big takeaway is the importance of humbling yourself to get help prior to blending your families. Working with a counselor to discuss and develop a plan to move forward is worth every penny you will spend.

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This is our last show in our series of Pride. After we have recognized that the only way to halt our prideful damage is through Christ. We now move into the daily habits and practices to replace our old ways.

Our prideful ways have created many habits that seemed to make sense at the time. Over time, these habits become natural and common place. Once we realize that many of these habits are teaching and reinforcing the exact opposite of what Christ calls us to be, we must begin new practices.

In this show, Carl and Hutch recommend several habits that can help us become more aware of the need to serve others and put them before ourselves. We used to consider many of these things to be just "good manners", but in our current culture manners have lost their place.

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In our third of four shows on Killing Pride, this is the one that begins to move you forward. This show boldly comes out and tells you exactly where we can all begin to grab our pride by the throat and begin to choke it out!

The tactic described is not for the faint of heart. It causes most to run and avoid the inevitable. The inevitable of surrender! Let's be clear, surrendering sounds like the last thing any warrior should ever do. But let's consider who we are surrendering to and why we might surrender.

If you were in a battle and shot your last bullet only to find yourself under endless gunfire, you would have to make some choices. Do I run, do i sit, or do I surrender? If I run, I will likely get shot. If I sit I will likely get shot. If I consider the option of surrendering, I have to ask myself the questions; who am I surrendering to and what is the likely outcome? If the likely outcome is death, then it may be best to choose the fastest path to death, since it's coming anyway. However, if I find that my capture puts me in the hands that will promise and deliver something better and life preserving, then I need to deeply consider this option.

Life is going to keep shooting endless gunfire your way. When will you look up and recognize that Christ is not the enemy, but rather the savior. He is waiting for your surrender so that he can carry you to a better place. A place of peace, hope, security, promise, and ultimately, eternal life.

In this episode of Killing Pride, we unveil the biggest step you must take to killing your pride. We recognize that it is not easy, but we also recognize that it is only made difficult because of our sinful pride. We have taken so long to develop a false shroud of who we believe we are that we have lost sight of who God made us to be. It's time to take off the shroud and die to self and live for Christ!

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In our last episode, 236, we introduced our personal struggle with pride in our lives. Mostly centering around anxiety and the fear of failure. In this episode we blow the doors wide open on PRIDE. We explore the many different ways that all of us have seen or experienced. The blamer, gaslighter, excuse maker, mad-man, road-rage, one-ups, competitiveness, paranoia, self-sabatoge, and the list goes on.

We don't discuss this list to make anyone feel bad, we discuss it because it is actually the first step to helping people realize the masks they have been hiding behind. Once you call the truth for what it is, people can actually make a decision to own it and begin the process of healing and forming the best version of themselves. That version is the one that Christ desires for us.

If you listen to the show and feel guilty, we ask that you turn that guilt into conviction. Conviction is what it takes to harness the negative energy and turn it into a positive solution. Staying in your guilt is exactly where Satan wants you. He wants you to beat yourself up and feel defeated. Christ wants you to push Satan away and restore the real you.

You have to tune in to our next episode as we we discuss the "Cure" for Pride. This show is going to be amazing. Simple but effective changes in mindset and daily practices that will truly move the needle to making your the man you want to be. No more bondage from your pride. You will finally have the opportunity to see and experience freedom in the person God designed you to be!

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We are called to die to ourselves. What in the heck does that even mean? And even a better question; why?

In this episode Hutch introduces Carl Andry to the Strong Dads audience. Carl is not only a smart man, but more so, he's a man of wisdom. He truly enjoys looking back in his own life and the lives of others to see what he can learn to take into the future.

Power, money, sex, control, words, you name it and we will strive to show ourselves better than the next. Just as bad, we will protect ourselves from being discovered as less than the next. A little alcohol to help loosen our inhibitions and not worry so much about what others might think. I would never want to be thought of as a failure.

Our topic today is "Pride", but more specifically it centers around learning how to identify the function of pride in one's life, why it is dangerous if left unchecked, and then learning how to make something better out of your life as your deal with your pride.

We wish we could say that this is a one and done operation of removing pride from your life. But, the reality is that it is ongoing. Satan believes he knows what is feels like to desire to be all controlling and all powerful, even superseding the power of God. But, as we know, God is never to be mocked. He is a jealous God and lets us know that our ways will never be better than his ways.

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When was the last time you thanked someone that poured into you or your life's work? You never know, if you wait too long you may miss the opportunity to let them know what they meant to you.

We all have people that have influenced our life. Some much more than others. We have fathers, mothers, teachers, preachers, and coaches that are among the most likely to impact our lives. The point of this show is to simply acknowledge and give thanks to one of the people that poured into and shaped my life. From my highschool days till now, there is still a bit of his finger print on my life.

Coach Rudy, Brent Rutemiller, was one of those guys in my life. He was a dreamer, worker, fighter, learner, and influencer. Status quo did not exist in his vocabulary. You're either living or dying. No such thing as just hold ground. Rudy taught that same idea to all that he did life with. He was hyperactive with a busy brain. He loved to be challenged and accepted challenges as opportunities rather than burdens. He proved that in his battle with cancer.

I'm sure he didn't want cancer and all of its complications. But, he also didn't shy away from owning the cancer and then going to battle with it on a daily basis. This was just another example of his courage and tenacity.

So many things that others pour into us and often they do not even know they are pouring into us. It's just who they are. They are the mentors and teachers of our lives. When was the last time you thanked one of them?
This week make it a point to reach out to that person that positively inspired you and helped to direct your sails for better waters. Tell them Thank You!

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