Moving forward after losing Sam feels impossible at times but it's the choice I remain committed to, even on my darkest days. There is no easy choice or path after losing a son or daughter but at some point, and the timeline will vary widely between us, we each have a choice to move forward towards healing or stay stuck in our grief.

In this episode, I bring in a concept I heard on another podcast (The Ramsey Show), and I talk about 4 ways that moving forward after losing Sam have been been hard for me but why I believe it's crucial to stay the course. I also discuss 4 ways that the choice NOT to take the steps we need to heal will be detrimental for us in all aspects of our life and why we need to look at healing as a new skill, not something we wait until we feel like doing.

This year, for the first time in my life, I have made the decision not to spend any money for Christmas. In today's episode, I talk about how grief has changed my willingness to participate in a tradition that typically has me spending more money than I should.

Losing a child is a stark reminder of what money can and cannot do for us. I know for sure that we can't buy our way into happiness or out of grief and for that reason, the chaotic shopping pace around me feels disconnected from my new reality.

This is a season where consumer debt and overspending will cause anxiety and grief for millions in the months to come and this year, I am choosing to ditch the heavy traffic, long shopping lines, and financial regret of buying things my kids don't need with money I don't necessarily have to spend.

Grieving parents and their families go through hell during the holidays and I believe that we should all be encouraged to make the choices that make sense for our family, regardless of longstanding family and societal expectations.

Thanksgiving is a difficult time for grieving parents and families and in today's episode, I discuss how gratitude has helped me through my grief. It sounds insane to search for gratitude after losing a son but I have found it to be a grounding source in my life.

Feeling gratitude doesn't have to mean that we accept what has happened, it means that in spite of what happened, we are making the choice to search outside of our grief for some kind of light. In spite of the unfathomable pain we live with, there is still the glow of love and support that surrounds us, if we choose to see it.

When Sam died, I didn't think I would ever feel better again and if I had relied on time alone, I still don't think I would. However, holding onto gratitude for all that Sam's life gave me and for all the love, support, and kindness that has been shown to me after he died is what keeps me moving forward today.

Happy Thanksgiving. I am grateful for any life I manage to touch by talking about Sam.