Welcome to the Beginning of the End (and Also, the Beginning of This Podcast)

It’s finally happening. The world might be spiraling, but we figured—why not spiral with it… together? Welcome to the very first episode of Apocalypse & Avocados, the podcast where three queer millennials (who should be in therapy but chose podcasting instead) sip cocktails/mocktails and overshare about everything from existential dread to dating trauma. 🍸

In our glorious debut, your hosts pull back the curtain and reveal who the heck we are, why this podcast exists, and what delicious chaos you can expect each week. Spoiler: it's unhinged in the best way.

💀 In this episode, we tackle:The rise and fall (and fall again) of online datingWhy no one is actually normal on dating apps (seriously—where are the emotionally stable people hiding?)What this podcast actually is and why we thought it was a good idea (jury’s still out)This is the episode where it all begins: the laughs, the rants, the existential spirals, and the very gay, very millennial attempts at finding meaning, connection, and a good Wi-Fi signal in a collapsing society.

Who TF Are We?

Glad you asked. Meet the trio behind the mic:

🥑 Carissa – A sharp-tongued, soft-hearted chaos gremlin with a caffeine addiction stronger than her WiFi signal. She’s the one who’ll hype you up, make you cry-laugh, and also text you memes at 2 am. high-protein When she's not podcasting or teaching the elderly to squat, she's probably up in the gym working on her fitness, trying a new high-protein recipe, or ranting passionately.

🌶️ Shaun – Warm, thoughtful, and a little bit petty (the fun kind). Resident storyteller and chaotic-neutral of the group, Shaun’s voice is like a soft queer hug wrapped in sarcasm. With stories for days and opinions for miles, Shaun firmly believes sarcasm counts as a love language and probably has a whole note in his phone just titled “men.” When not on mic, Shaun can most likely be found watching one of the many iterations of Drag Race, perfecting yet another playlist, or convincing themselves that watching TikTok for three hours straight counts as "research."

🍸 Peter – Dry humor meets emotional depth. Peter will casually drop a fire one-liner while unpacking the institutional decay of modern romance. You’ll laugh. You’ll feel seen. You’ll question everything—and then go right back to texting your situationship. With a knack for turning awkwardness into charm, Peter balances out the trio with a dash of logic and a heavy dose of sass. He's equal parts pop-culture enthusiast and tech guru, and his ideal day involves good food, good drinks, and filling our group chat with unhinged Instagram reels.

Together, we’re just three queers with mics, some strong opinions, and a group chat that should never be made public. We’re here to unpack identity, friendship, dating disasters, culture, late-stage capitalism, and the many flavors of modern queer life—with humor, honesty, and at least one reference to Drag Race per episode.

Whether you're LGBTQIA+, millennial, Gen Z (we love you, despite your ruthless roasting), or anyone just tired of pretending adulthood makes sense, this podcast is for you. Join the chaos, humor, and genuine conversations as Carissa, Shaun, and Peter attempt to adult—or at least convincingly fake it until their Uber Eats arrives.

So grab your comfort beverage of choice, throw on your emotional support hoodie, and put your phone on Do Not Disturb—unless you’re waiting on that Bumble match to text back. 👀

We're just getting started, and trust us—you don't want to miss the end of the world with anyone else.

💬 Tell us your worst date app story or what YOU think the gay agenda should include. Slide into our DMs—we’re lonely. JK (unless…)

Follow us everywhere (because we’re adorable and mildly unhinged): Linked in profile.New episodes drop weekly—subscribe, follow, and get ready for a ride through the end of the world (or just Monday). Welcome aboard!