The Epstein Files strike back and MAGA has decided that the right play is to defend pedophiles. Sounds about right. It took the Democrats five days to squander their blue wave momentum, and that might be a new record. The government is no longer shutdown, at the cost of your weed gummies. Kim Davis of Kentucky, the dowdiest of Kim Davises, loses again and gay Americans can continue to get married. For now. We live in a world where artist that don't exist can have a #1 song. What is the preferred duration for sexytimes? It's shorter than you think. Kim Kardashian is big mad at psychics who told her that she would pass the bar exam. Trump wants to name an NFL stadium after himself, and the U.S. Treasury wants to put his face on both sides of a coin. Heads he wins, tails we lose.

A rogue blue wave strikes American and Republicans are Big Sad about it. Dick Cheney dies and perhaps meets the hundreds of thousands of humans killed in the unnecessary war he started, The president of the United States fights to not feed his constituents. Lauren Boebert wears a racist Halloween costume but wasn't invited to Trump's Great Gatsby ball. Let them eat ballrooms, I guess. A jury found Sandwich Guy to be not guilty, serving justice in a delicious manner. RIP to The Farmers' Almanac. The Edmund Fitzgerald sunk 50 years ago November 10th. A Utah Republican wants to ban all porn. One Mississippi monkey remains free. And a picture of a useless Donald Trump doing what he does best is worth well over a thousand words.

Happy Halloween from The Dumbest Story of the Week! This is the week I learned about 6-7, and I am dumber for it. A man in Taiwan discovered just how durable his Apple AirPods are in the strangest manner possible. The bar for joining ICE is staggeringly low, and is anyone surprised? A criminal springs a criminal! Trump commutes George Santos' seven-year sentence, and he is out just in time to TP his house for Halloween. Charles Barkley may be Alabama's next governor, and it is unclear how he could do any worse than his predecessors. Meanwhile, next door in Mississippi a bunch of test monkeys are on the loose that may or may not be infected with diseases. AI thinks that Doritos are guns. And my friend Dana Knudson joins me to teach me about the black market for LEGOs, which are actually called LEGO. I stand corrected.

This episode is another opportunity to pull myself – and hopefully all of you - out of the morass that is our weekly news cycle and focus on one topic and one person. I stumbled upon this week’s guest because he wrote a piece in The Guardian that resonated with me. It is called Democrats Are Captive To Outdated Norms. It’s Endangering Democracy, and it got me to thinking about_ how I am represented by my “team,” which is, ostensibly - and because I don’t have a better option - the Democratic Party,” and what we can do to move things in a better direction. A direction of action rather than strongly worded letters to aspiring dictators. So, I reached out to the author of that piece, Ryan W. Powers, and I cajoled him into doing a short interview. Ryan bills himself as a legal analyst and former Big Law attorney who writes a weekly Substack newsletter on democracy, dissent, and the law. He calls it _The Powers Project.

An investigation by POLITICO revealed this week that Young Republicans engaged in a little "locker room talk" this year, including talking about suppressing Epstein documents and gas chambers, as well as using racial, homophobic and antisemitic slurs and joking about rape. One of them said that he "loved" a certain long-deceased fascist German leader from 90 years ago. Charming. Trump is still killing boaters in the Caribbean and Border Patrol officers murdered a family dog in El Paso. War crimes, anyone? Trump and his neck genitals make the cover of Time, but he isn't pleased about it. SCOTUS tells Alex Jones that he is indeed responsible for that $1.4 billion defamation suit. Dr. Demento and a Marine Corps colonel retired. Former national security adviser John Bolton got indicted. Ace Frehley died. Remember to practice safe phone at this weekend's No Kings protest!

ICE and the Texas National Guard Invaded Chicago and Qatar is about to invade Idaho by getting a new military base on American soil. Because those things make sense, right? The Nobel Committee wisely decided to give their peace prize to someone who hasn't invaded cities in his own country. No prize for you, Donny! Have any of you read Joseph Heller's book, Catch-22? Because you really should. An expert on American anti-fascism and his family got death threats, and then they were bizarrely not allowed to leave the country - until they were. Can I come with you? Republicans only care about an issue when it affects them directly. The government remains closed. Rush is going on a reunion tour next summer. Unpopular opinion alert! Rush lyrics are terrible. MAGA gets big mad at the NFL for hiring American performer Bad Bunny to play the NFL halftime show in 2026. If we all survive that long, I suppose.