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  • Power through

    Power through
    2025/01/09
    The randomiser wheel picked "Power Through". I'm currently using a tool to select phrases for my daily journal practice. They are all associated with the theme of Strength. At first, these words brought to mind experiences when I had no choice but to keep going. A looming deadline, the chockful calendar, a stag do, a festival, and the final push with the finish line in sight. Powering through requires a special kind of energy. Dipping in and drawing from the storeroom where I keep my deep reserves. This can feel glorious. It can feel rewarding. It can feel like a relief and something I wish never to repeat. To collapse in a heap at the end. The moment when Farmer Hoggett’s words echo in my soul; “that’ll do, pig. That’ll do.” I can pack up, curl up, and rest. Letting The Body Prepare For as long as I can remember, I have experienced a kind of lethargy on the day of a gig. I often feel like I won’t have the energy to perform. I seem to yawn through the afternoon, wondering how I will ever summon the inner resources to do what I need to do. “OK”, I would tell myself, “you’ve just got to power through”. As soon as I hit the road, I could feel the flow returning, and by the time I hit the stage, I was in the zone. I’ve come to accept this part of the process in all its frustrating mystery, trusting that the energy will come, however much it feels like there is no way I could not fall asleep at the piano. Over time, I’ve come to see that this is not about “powering through”; it’s about letting things be. To power through turns it into a battle or fight. Like I’m in a constant wrestle with myself. And that takes a different kind of energy. On the other hand, letting things be is about surrendering to what I know is true, recognising that I won’t feel up to performing in the lead-up to a gig, and remembering that my body is preparing and readying me for the performance. I don’t need to fix that; I need to simply let it be. If I jump to my “power-through” reserves, believing I must intervene to feel up to it, I will derail my natural processes, hit the bottom of the barrel more quickly and need much more time to recover afterwards. Powering Through as The Exception, Not The Rule Humans are rhythmic, seasonal, and cyclical. Our bodies are remarkable and can power through when the situation demands it as the exception, not the rule. But when we are stuck in that mode, which is how we have designed many aspects of modern life, many people perpetually power through on the fumes of those reserves. It’s no wonder we are burning out. If we are expected to be “on” constantly, we might perpetually wrestle with ourselves. Berating our inability to maintain the energy required to stay productive in what Byung Chul-Han calls achievement society. Excessive “can” positivity and self-optimisation paradoxically lead to burnout and fatigue because there are no natural stopping points. Even in rest and play, we have become trained in self-exploitative productivity in choosing and approaching leisure time. If it can’t be measured, it’s meaningless. If it’s not helping us advance, then it’s pointless. And when we reach the inevitable tipping point, we consume to help us escape, retreat, and numb ourselves. This often goes against our creative nature - the quiet voice inside telling us to slow down and sense the world around, within, and between us. All Power and No Play When considering creativity and nurturing a sensitive nervous system, we must unite and break free from these chains of toxic productivity. We can embrace and enjoy the times of blossoming and fruition. We can accept and attune ourselves to periods of fallowness and the in-between. Without silence, we cannot hear the music. Without margins, we cannot see the shape of things. Despite what some people want us to believe, we are not labouring machines. We can’t keep pushing ourselves without paying a serious price.
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    10 分
  • Stay Strong and Carry On

    Stay Strong and Carry On
    2025/01/07
    The randomiser wheel picked "Stay strong and carry on" this week. I'm using the tool to select phrases for my daily journal practice this month.. This reflection is inspired by our month of Strength. There is a difference between giving up and quitting. I’ve written about this before. To quit is usually an intentional decision. It is informed and considered. It requires courage to let go when something no longer serves its purpose, or you are no longer the person for the task. On the other hand, giving up happens when you no longer have the physical, mental, or emotional capacity to carry on, even if the task is meaningful and important to you. When You Can't Stay Strong Alone The willingness to continue might be physically destroyed when the body cannot function. Our opponent might have outplayed us to the point of exhaustion. Or it might give into someone who has relentlessly pressured us to comply with their demands. What does it mean to stay strong and carry on? What sort of strength do we need to maintain? Where does it come from? What does it look like? How can you stay strong when the body or spirit is broken and you are limited by more than your mindset? Strength Beyond Power Strength isn’t about force and for humans, it is not the preserve of a single individual. It’s not about domination and control. Instead, it’s about resourcefulness, knowing what matters and why, and letting go of a drive for top-down compliance in favour of unity amidst disagreement. It’s about rejecting the dominant narrative when it works to divide and conquer. The whole is more than the sum of its parts. We are better equipped to stay strong and carry on when we zoom out and do it together. This is why we need to embrace high sensitivity, not only as individuals, but as a species. It makes us stronger. Emperor Penguins insulate themselves from the harsh Antarctic conditions by huddling together to create and radiate heat through the collective. The strength of one penguin is dependent on the behaviour of the whole. And likewise, the survival of the whole is dependent on individuals huddling together. I find this a powerful image of collective strength, not as a source of domination and mastery over the weather but as a way to maintain their presence despite those conditions. We sometimes have a warped view of strength, often associated with the individual. But when this underpins our understanding of what it means to be human, we live life on a knife-edge. We are in a state of dysregulation, alert and unsafe, making decisions based not on what is best in the long run or big picture but on the here and now. Often at the expense of longer term prosperity and s An Empty Promise We are encouraged to hoard, steal, envy, and destroy in the name of strength. Even those who possess this kind of power are never at peace. They always look over their shoulder and wonder who is plotting their demise. Second guessing, pre-eminently striking, and causing a cascading wave to the bottom and lowering horizons rather than raising them and limiting potential rather than smashing down boundaries for all of us to explore. We stay strong and carry on when we build around a solid foundation together. When we know what matters, where we are going, and the abundant reasons, we all have a place here. This strength is grounded in the belief that we are creative and playful beings with the potential for unimaginable things. When mixed with a lust for domination, power, and control, these unimaginable things are barbaric. But when combined with a curious openness to love and care about ourselves, one another, and the future of this incredible planet, those unimaginable things are majestic. https://youtu.be/uqY0wma4xDY
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    1分未満
  • Do You Truly Accept and Understand Your Underlying Personality Traits?

    Do You Truly Accept and Understand Your Underlying Personality Traits?
    2018/06/22
    Many people wish they were different. They compare themselves with others and think that life would be better if only they had their traits, gifts, and confidence. They struggle to accept their nature, and in so doing fail to enjoy everything their uniqueness brings. “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman Think about it for a second. What the world needs is for you to conform to its own needs. It needs you to buy the stuff it says you need. It needs you to be predictable. What the world needs is for you to fit in and be like everyone else. In other words, it needs you to rely on the stuff it paints as important, and neglect the stuff that actually matters to you. Perhaps this is better described as what the world "wants". Because as Thurman says, what the world actually "needs" is people who have come alive. A world of people who have come alive is a world of love, creativity, and acceptance. It's a world where people live at peace with themselves, and in full acceptance of the aliveness of everyone else. Stop asking what the world wants from you. Forget trying to change in order to fit in better. Look at what brings you joy, and accept those parts of yourself. What brings you to a place of flow? Do those things and the wants, comparisons, envy, and unhealthy competitiveness will naturally drain away. In this episode of the podcast we look at these ideas in more depth. We examine the first of three disciplines that come from Stoic Philosophy, which is a great help to us as we think about how to thrive as introverts and sensitive types in the modern world. How can you accept who you are? We consider the Big 5 Personality Traits, and what they can teach us about how who we are is both fixed and flexible. By accepting what is fixed, we are able to develop our temperamental flexibility. I share why personality is like a bead on a rubber band. It's my hope that by the end of the episode you will see that you have more control over your personality than you might otherwise think.
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    34 分
  • The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Still Has a Lot to Teach Us (a chat with Bo Miller)

    The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Still Has a Lot to Teach Us (a chat with Bo Miller)
    2018/04/01
    You may well be familiar with the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. It's one of the most recognised and used personality tests in the world. It is based on the psychological theory of Carl Jung along with Katherine Cook Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers. In this week's podcast I chat with Bo Miller, who is an author, blogger, podcaster, introvert, and certified Myers-Briggs practitioner. He helps people identify and maximise their unique gifts through his website, iSpeakPeople. It's a site for INFJs (a Myers-Briggs personality type). However, Bo publishes great stuff for introverts of all colours. You can download his free ebook, The INFJ Personality Guide, which is a fantastically in depth look at life as an INFJ. Criticisms of The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator I loved talking to Bo about the MBTI, and its use in our lives. Over the years of working with introverts and sensitive types I have come across various critics of the test. It was lovely to talk with Bo though, who recognises that while it is not perfect, it carries a huge amount of value. It helps us better understand ourselves, others, and maximise our own impact on the world. Escaping Tribalism and Reductionistic Language Conversations about introversion can be deterministic; a pre-determined set of characteristics and values. Introverts have no control over what they are capable of...and what they are incapable of. We are good at building walls around ourselves, using labels to justify the behaviours and attitudes we want to get away with. But this is not helpful, necessary, or healthy. What I love about Bo Miller's approach to this topic is that he sees the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator as a tool we can use to free ourselves. It's not a tool to label and thus restrict our self-understanding, but one to help us better understand who we are and how we can create conditions in our lives for the best way of being. It's important for all of us to embrace this approach. To enjoy the validation of recognising ourselves in a certain personality profile, whether that's as an INFJ. But then to use it as a way to understand ourselves within the context of the richly spiced variety of humanity, of which we are but one small speck. In the interview you will learn: Why the MBTI is still relevant today What it helps us understand about ourselves and other people Why Bo wanted to be a licensed practitioner Bo's favourite kind of resources to create (as a podcaster, writer, YouTube creator etc) What advice Bo would impart to his younger self if he could How Bo balances family, work and business life, without burning out Over to You What did you enjoy about this interview? Has it changed anything in your understanding of yourself as an introvert? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below. Support the Podcast and get bonus extras:
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    48 分
  • The Armchair Creative

    The Armchair Creative
    2024/12/27
    Are you an armchair creative? You are great at learning, preparing, and researching a field, yet something often stops you from taking action. In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we consider some things that stop us from acting and explore how to get out of the armchair in 2025. Armchair Certainty "What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?” is a common question in coaching. While intended to free us from debilitating fear, it misses an important point. Knowing we can't fail leaves us feeling hollow. In The Twilight Zone episode “A Nice Place to Visit,” freshly deceased Rocky Valentine thinks he's in Heaven because he wins every bet and has every desire met. After a while, he tells his host, Pip that he doesn't belong in Heaven and wants to go to the other place. "Whatever gave you the idea that this is Heaven?" Pip responds. This is a depiction of Hell being an eternity without the possibility of failure. “What would you do if you knew you COULD fail?” I like this reframe because it accepts failure as a natural, even necessary, part of a meaningful life. Certainty, while comforting, stifles creativity because it deprives us of the friction required for meaningful action. Creativity In The Armchair As armchair experts, we might have accumulated lots of knowledge. We may have devoured books, taken courses, and watched hours of footage. But this knowledge is an arms-length understanding and doesn't give us the sensory or practical knowledge that can only come through stepping into the arena. In creativity, this can manifest as over-preparation: planning every detail, waiting for the “perfect” idea, or endlessly theorising without taking the leap. This intellectualisation offers a false sense of progress. As Mark Manson put it, “People get hooked on endlessly intellectualising their emotional patterns as a way to avoid doing anything about them.” Similarly, intellectualising creativity can mask avoidance. Deep growth begins when we leave the armchair and step into the arena, embracing the messy, unpredictable nature of creating. Action Breeds Clarity Songwriter Aaron Espe captures this beautifully: “The best way to have more happy accidents is to do more things. Simply thinking about doing things doesn’t produce happy accidents. You gotta take action.” Whether it’s songwriting, swimming, or starting a business, the act of doing reveals insights that theory cannot. The Paralysis of Armchair Analysis Overthinking often disguises itself as preparation. We might tell ourselves we’re “just being thorough,” but in reality, we’re avoiding vulnerability. The fear of failure, judgment, or even our inner critic can keep us stuck. One of my favourite expressions from Haven meetings in recent years is, "Playing is preparing." Creativity isn’t about perfect execution; it’s about feeling, practice, and exploration. We can do this in low-stakes ways. Happy accidents happen when we engage with the task before us, not when we think about engaging with it. It's impossible to think our way to a happy accident. The Courage to Be Misunderstood A typical creative block is the fear of being misunderstood. We worry our work will be misinterpreted, criticised, or fail to resonate. But this fear can suffocate creativity. As Brené Brown reminds us, true courage lies in stepping into the arena, risking failure, and embracing imperfection. One way to develop this courage is to experiment with letting ambiguity be ambiguous. It's in those gaps that the light gets in. Art that heals does so, not because it intends to but because it is free to land in a billion different ways. Embracing the Messy Joy of Creativity So, as we step into 2025, consider this our invitation to be intentional about our place in the armchair. If this feels alive for you right now, consider booking a “Pick The Lock” call with me. We can explore how to turn your creative urges into actionable, manageable,
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    35 分
  • Are You More of a Host, Artisan, or Entertainer? (Notes From a Slow Coach)

    Are You More of a Host, Artisan, or Entertainer? (Notes From a Slow Coach)
    2024/12/22
    Have you ever seen homes lit up at night and wondered what the lights in the windows say about the people inside? Just me? OK then! A recent neighbourhood walk left me thinking about three broad tendencies or archetypes that we might embody in our creative energy: The Host, The Artisan, and The Entertainer. The Host You know that warm, glowing light you see in the window of a house at night? Unless you're in a horror movie, there’s something comforting about it. It’s welcoming and can signal a sense of safety, telling us we’re expected, or if we’re lost, that there’s a refuge waiting. Some people are like this. They have a beacon quality—inviting us in to rest, explore, and be ourselves. Their creative energy is collaborative and open. They make it feel safe to try new things, fail, and to discover surprising possibilities. Can you think of someone like this? The Artisan There are other houses where the lights are carefully strung—beautiful, intentional, and inspiring. These displays have been thoughtfully crafted. The result of care, skill, and attention to detail. People can't help but stop to notice and admire the display. Some people are like this. Artisans care deeply about the creative process. They put deep effort and dedication into exploring techniques, learning skills, and achieving excellence. Their creative energy pours through their love of the craft and appreciation of quality and they believe the work speaks for itself. Can you think of someone like this? The Entertainer Other houses have dynamic projected images on walls, trees, and lawns. These displays are intended to draw and focus the attention of onlookers, encouraging them to look at the surface on which the light is cast. Some people are like this. Entertainers shine with an audience to communicate with. Their creative energy flows when people pay attention and react to them. Can you think of someone like this? When the Environment Doesn’t Align The world is beautiful because of the diverse flow of creative energy that comes through hosts, artisans, and entertainers. But what happens when our natural tendency doesn’t match the environment we’re in? It's not difficult to imagine how strong ego judgements about how people ought to be, could make someone who doesn't naturally fit the mould feel out of shape and alone. The Host in an Artisan World Imagine the a Host in a world that values polished results and technical mastery. Hosts who create collaborative spaces for exploration may feel inadequate or invisible. They might undervalue the importance of what they bring to the collective. The story they might adopt: “I'm not talented or valuable because I don’t produce anything remarkable.” The Artisan in an Entertainer World What about the Artisan in an Entertainer world that only celebrates and rewards those who are front and centre? Artisans who find joy in the quality of the work they do might become drained by the pressure to self-promote and feelings of self-consciousness as peoples' attention is focused on them rather than their work. The story they might adopt: “I can't get the opportunities I deserve in a world that rewards style and confidence over substance and competence." The Entertainer in a Host World Then there is the Entertainer in a space that only values quiet and subtle connection? Entertainers who love to feel the creative flow through social connection might feel like their energy is too much and may be painted as a narcissistic attention seeker. The story they might adopt: “I take up too much space and annoy people.” ArchetypePotential StoryImpactSupportive ShiftThe Host“You’re not talented enough.”Feels undervalued; doubts their role.Recognise that holding space is valuable.The Artisan“You need to put yourself out there.”Feels pressured to perform or promote.Let their work speak for itself; advocate for them.
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    1分未満
  • Setting Boundaries When You Want to Do it All (with Leah Burkhart)

    Setting Boundaries When You Want to Do it All (with Leah Burkhart)
    2024/12/14
    In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, I sit down with returning guest and friend of the show, Leah Burkhart, founder of The Healthy Sensitive, to discuss a challenge many highly sensitive people face: defining boundaries when you're genuinely excited about everything. This might be especially true for the multipotentialites among us, who have many creative projects and interests in life. It’s not about saying no to things we don’t want to do—it’s about creating space to understand the energy beneath the excitement. The Excitement Paradox: “Death by Opportunity” Leah and I explored the notion of "death by opportunity"—a burnout that stems not from external demands but from an abundance of internal excitement and possibility. It’s the paradox of having no external limits on particular aspects of life: “The good news is, nothing is stopping us. The bad news is, nothing is stopping us.” Highly sensitive people often feel driven by curiosity, connecting dots and imagining what’s possible. However, this expansive way of engaging with the world can become unsustainable when we lack filters to process invitations, opportunities, and excitations. Boundaries as a Conversation, Not a Wall When we hear "boundaries," we might think of barriers preventing access. But what if boundaries were framed as an invitation to listen to what is happening beneath the surface? A helpful perspective distinguishes between "not now" and "not yet." Some ideas need more time to incubate ("not yet"), while others aren’t priorities during this season ("not now"). Boundaries are not prohibitions; they bring openness and space to slow down, pause, and let enthusiasm flow without rushing into action. Tools for Sustainable Engagement There are practical ways to define boundaries as the space between the urge to act and the decision to commit: Journaling: Use writing as a space to explore ideas without prematurely committing to them. Community Support: Surround yourself with people who can hold space for your ideas without pushing you to act on them immediately. Faith in the Pause: Urgency is often a red flag. If something still excites you after a day or two, it might be worth exploring. The Minimalists have their 30/30 rule: "If it costs more than $30, wait 30 hours before deciding." This works well for all kinds of things - immediate excitement might settle down after time. Even if the idea still compels us, we can start seeing it through a more realistic lens that fits our capacity and ability in the current season. Testing Ideas Gently: Engage with possibilities without turning them into sacred proposals. For instance, dedicate time to dream and explore wild ideas, then step back and recommit to what’s already on your plate. What Does a "Hell Yes!" Feel Like? One of the central questions of our conversation was: How do we sustainably maintain authentic excitement? We talked about recognising the signs of overcommitment and embracing a slower, steadier form of enthusiasm. Instead of chasing every "Hell yes!" moment, we can look for the slow burn of "mmm yeah"—a quieter, more sustainable motivation that doesn’t depend on perfect conditions to thrive. This notion of "Hell yes!" might look and feel very different to a highly sensitive person. A great way to consider this is whether or not "hell yes!" is a state in our nervous system. We would need to feel excited and enthusiastic to take action in the future. This is usually a sign of a project being unsustainable. Creativity, Community, and Boundaries Another key theme was the importance of trusted people and processes for sharing and developing ideas. We considered how prematurely sharing an idea with the wrong audience can lead to defensiveness or even shutting it down altogether. This weak back, defensive front, is the opposite of the gentleness (firm back, soft front) required to stand our ground and stay strong in the face of unwa...
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    1 時間 1 分
  • You’ve Got To Go Forwards To Go Back

    You’ve Got To Go Forwards To Go Back
    2024/12/09
    In this episode of The Gentle Rebel Podcast, we explore the theme of nostalgia and "going back to basics". This was inspired by a recent community discussion. What are the basics and what does it mean to go back when time moves forward? In this episode, we consider our relationship with nostalgia and the subtle pull it can have on our beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world around us. Topics Covered in This Episode The Allure of Nostalgia Why the past often feels simpler, safer, and more appealing. The potential dangers of believing this story. How nostalgia shapes our perception of the present and influences decision-making. Nostalgia as Utopia in Reverse The traps of idealising a perfect past or future. How can these narratives create antagonism, self-defeating mindsets, and resistance to sustainable growth? The Basics in Action A look at Vince Lombardi’s famous “This is a football” story. What the "football" might be for each of us. What does this teach us about unlearning, re-learning, and preparing for uncertainty? Isomorphic Learning Insights from Lucy Easthope’s work on disaster recovery. The temptation to fight the last war and prepare for the previous crisis. How building strong foundations equips us to face unpredictable challenges. Creative Freedom and Letting Go Why returning to basics can free us from the constraints of past success and external expectations. How letting go creates space for new ideas and growth. The Evolution of Traditions Exploring how rituals and ceremonies can help us find shared values across time and space. How ceremonial and sacred rituals often evolve from practical necessity. Core Reflections From the Episode How does nostalgia show up in your life? Are there ways it helps or hinders your present perspective? What " basics " ground you when life feels overwhelming or uncertain? How might simplifying your approach create space for new dots to connect? What did this episode bring up for you? https://youtu.be/E1Y1CBPj3EY
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    40 分