In this episode of The Middle to Nowhere, I honor the memory of my dear friend Jesse Holcomb, who passed away earlier this year. On what would have been Jesse’s birthday, I reflect on my unique grieving process, the challenges of loving someone struggling with alcohol use disorder, and how my newfound spiritual life has helped me navigate that journey. I share the lessons I learned in loving Jesse for who he was, the importance of forgiveness, and the significance of reaching out to those you love before it’s too late. I also share the last song Jesse recorded, a touching tribute that I help him record for his mother.

In this episode, we explore the savior complex and how it can be created in church culture. Building on our previous discussion about purity culture and unhealed shame, we dive into how the drive to constantly help others and prove our worth can follow us long after we leave the church. Join me as we unpack these patterns, how they show up in our daily lives, and how we can begin the journey toward healing and self-acceptance.

In this episode, I dig further into many of the insights gleaned from my conversations with both Jonathon and Leah in the previous two episodes, further digging into the effects of growing up in evangelical purity culture and many of the ways it can still effect people, even after leaving the church or even their faith.

Having dug into the concept of deconstruction and it opening a whole new door of self-examination, I feel that I’ve learned so much about myself just in the past few weeks of how my struggles of self-criticism, low self-esteem, and perfectionism can be traced back to the church environment that I grew up in.

Later in the episode, I look at the original meaning of the word “sin” (in Hebrew "chata" and Greek, "hamartia") and how it means to simply “miss the mark” without any of the added shame attached. I further discuss how this interpretation was changed at different points in history and how we've come so far away from that original intention.

I hope that this episode helps those of you who have had similar experiences and struggles.

Thank you so much for your support and attention. It means a lot!

In this heartfelt episode, I sit down with my old childhood friend Leah Morales to explore her profound journey of leaving the church we both grew up in. Together, we delve into the emotional and often painful process she experienced in making this life-altering decision to leave and deconstruct her faith as she knew it.

Leah opens up about the toxic purity culture that permeated our upbringing, shedding light on the damaging effects it had on her sense of self and personal growth. She shares candidly about the internal conflict and the eventual clarity that led her to step away from the church’s teachings.

Interestingly, it was the very message of Jesus—a message of compassion and unconditional love—that ultimately became a driving force behind Leah’s decision to leave. Her story is a powerful testament to finding one’s own path to spirituality and understanding, even when it means challenging long-held beliefs.

Join us for an intimate and eye-opening conversation about faith, courage, and the pursuit of a more authentic life.

In this episode, I get to catchup with an old friend from childhood, Jonathon Lopez. A Waco native who now lives in Austin, Jonathon is part software developer, musician, and budding astrologer. In our talk, he shares about the dichotomy that was created in him when he was introduced to the christian church, creating a new sense of right and wrong and becoming a judge for himself and others. Some interesting questions arise surrounding the root source of shame in our lives.

In this episode, I share my transformative experience at a silent retreat at Mepkin Abbey. Leaving my phone at home, I immersed myself in the monks’ peaceful routines and connected deeply with an unexpected friend, an 84-year-old Buddhist practitioner, whose wisdom and warmth sparked profound personal insights. Join me as I recount these enriching encounters, the joy of being present, and the lessons in love and empathy that continue to shape my journey.

If you're interested in checking out Mepkin Abbey for a silent retreat, here's their website: https://mepkinabbey.org/retreats/

In this episode, I want to share some insights I’ve recently gained about respecting others' emotional boundaries, understanding how fear of the unknown can lead to conflict in relationships and its roots in the fear of abandonment, and how our inner drive to help others can sometimes hinder our ability to truly love them.

In this episode, I delve into my "spiritual awakening" moment and how my body instinctively used an ancient technique to connect more deeply with the Divine. I also share my thought process as I tried to make sense of it all afterward, noticing signs and strange coincidences that seemed to urge me to overcome my fear while questioning, "I'm not going crazy, right?"