In this powerful episode of The School of Resilience, Dr. Maria Bargeman delves into the common belief that full healing from trauma is impossible. She discusses the origins of this mindset, often rooted in environmental influences and past experiences, such as messages from clinicians, group therapy dynamics, and personal histories of emotional pain. Dr. Bargeman emphasizes how these factors can shape a person’s belief that healing isn’t achievable, especially when reinforced by authority figures or repeated exposure to narratives of ongoing struggle.

Dr. Bargeman explains that beliefs about our inability to heal often serve a protective function, shielding us from the repeated heartbreak of failed attempts at recovery. Some individuals may also cling to their identity as someone who suffers because it feels familiar and safe. This attachment to a painful narrative can feel necessary to preserve the validity of their past experiences, making the idea of healing seem like an erasure of what they’ve endured. Dr. Bargeman compassionately addresses how these beliefs, while understandable, can keep individuals stuck in a cycle of suffering.

As the episode progresses, Dr. Bargeman encourages listeners to gently untangle their sense of self from their painful experiences, recognizing that holding onto the past doesn’t change it but does impact their present and future. She highlights the importance of validating these beliefs with compassion rather than dismissing them outright. Through understanding and reframing our origin stories, we can start to cultivate a new narrative of hope and healing. Dr. Maria Bargeman, a seasoned trauma recovery specialist, is dedicated to empowering individuals to reclaim their lives. Learn more about her work at mariabargeman.com.

1. Beliefs About Healing: The belief that full healing from trauma is impossible often stems from environmental influences and past experiences, reinforced by authority figures and exposure to negative narratives.
2. Protective Identity: Many hold onto the belief they cannot heal because it serves as a protective mechanism, offering a sense of safety and validation for their past, even if it keeps them stuck in suffering.
3. Path to Reframing: Dr. Maria Bargeman advocates for gently validating and reframing these beliefs with compassion, creating emotional distance from past experiences to allow for a new, hopeful narrative of healing and empowerment.

00:00 The Possibility of Healing from Trauma

03:22 Understanding the Roots of Healing Beliefs

09:09 The Importance of Origin Stories in Healing

In this episode of The School of Resilience, Dr. Maria Bargeman introduces the "Four A's" strategy, a powerful process for navigating emotional hijacking and regaining control over unhelpful emotional patterns. The episode delves into how emotional wounds from the past can hijack the present and explores how awareness, allowance, affection, and action can help disrupt these cycles. Dr. Bargeman emphasizes the importance of recognizing our emotions, allowing them to exist without judgment, and responding with compassion before taking action to understand the root of the emotional trigger.

Dr. Bargeman references the work of Dr. Daniel Siegel and expands on his concept of "name it to tame it," arguing that while naming emotions is crucial, healing can only happen through conscious awareness. She walks listeners through each of the Four A's in detail, explaining how bringing awareness to emotional triggers, allowing feelings to exist, showing affection towards oneself, and finally taking action are vital steps toward emotional healing.

The episode concludes with practical advice on how to implement the Four A's in real-life situations. Dr. Bargeman encourages listeners to practice journaling or recording their thoughts during emotionally charged moments as a way to gather data and better understand their emotional patterns. Over time, this practice helps identify emotional triggers and enables individuals to provide themselves with the care and understanding needed to heal.

In the latest episode of The School of Resilience, Dr. Maria Bargeman delves into the complex yet essential process of healing emotional wounds rooted in past experiences. Building on the concept of "little t trauma" introduced in the previous episode, Maria explains how these often-overlooked micro injuries, particularly from childhood, can develop into chronic emotional patterns that keep us stuck in unhelpful behaviors and thoughts. She emphasizes that the key to breaking free begins with a shift from self-judgment to compassionate understanding.

Maria guides listeners through the necessary steps to revisit and heal the source of these emotional injuries. By differentiating between who we were when these wounds occurred and who we are now, we can begin to reclaim our true sense of self—one that is not defined by our past experiences but by our inherent resilience and emotional strength. This episode sets the stage for further exploration in the next episode, where Dr. Bargeman will provide tactical strategies to help you move forward on your healing journey.

Dr. Maria Bargeman is a trauma recovery specialist dedicated to helping women fully recover from trauma. As the creator of The Trauma Treatment Map™️, and with her extensive experience as a trauma researcher and educator, Dr. Bargeman provides invaluable insights into emotional healing. To learn more, follow her on Instagram @resilienttraumarecovery and visit her website at mariabargeman.com.

• Shifting Perspective: Healing begins with moving from self-judgment and condemnation to a place of compassionate understanding, recognizing that our emotional patterns make sense given our past experiences.
• Revisiting the Past: To heal, it's essential to revisit the source of our emotional wounds, not to stay stuck in the past, but to reclaim and redefine our sense of self, free from the constraints of what happened to us.
• Reclaiming the True Self: By teasing apart who we were during those traumatic experiences and who we are now, we can build a stronger, more grounded self that is capable of experiencing life’s full range of emotions in a healthy and balanced way.