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You Are the One You've Been Waiting For
- Applying Internal Family Systems to Intimate Relationships
- ナレーター: Martin LaGrande, Mike Berlak
- 再生時間: 6 時間 10 分
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あらすじ・解説
A groundbreaking approach for practicing courageous love and resilient intimacy—from the creator of Internal Family Systems therapy
Do loving relationships end because couples lack communication skills, struggle to empathize, and fail to accommodate each other’s needs? That’s a common belief within and outside of the therapeutic world… but what if it’s all wrong? In You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For, Dr. Richard Schwartz, the celebrated founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, offers a new way—a path toward courageous love that replaces the striving, dependent, and disconnected approach to solving relationship challenges.
The breakthrough realization of IFS is that our psyche contains multiple parts, each with a life of its own. Most problems in relationships arise because we unknowingly burden our partner with the task of caring for our disowned and unloved parts. In this book, you’ll discover essential insights and tools to foster healthy dialogue with your parts and your partner, including:
• How to recognize and disarm the cultural assumptions that create shame, guilt, and isolation in relationships
• The Three Projects—why we fool ourselves into thinking we must change our partner, change ourselves, or give up on true intimacy
• Finding and Healing Exiles—transforming the way our most vulnerable parts influence the way we treat each other
• How to reorient relationship conflicts to help each of us grow toward the Self—the center of our clarity and wisdom
• Courageous Love—building resilient intimacy with each other and our parts to create healthy, lasting partnerships
“No one can do the work of healing our orphaned parts for us,” says Dr. Schwartz. “Yet when we begin with Self-leadership, a relationship can become a safe place in which we help each other heal and grow.” Here is an invaluable guide for therapists and laypersons alike to promote connection, trust, and understanding—within yourself and with the one you love.
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Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors integrates a neurobiologically informed understanding of trauma, dissociation, and attachment with a practical approach to treatment, all communicated in straightforward language accessible to both client and therapist. Listeners will be exposed to a model that emphasizes "resolution" - a transformation in the relationship to one's self, replacing shame, self-loathing, and assumptions of guilt with compassionate acceptance.
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In this important sequel to Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, author Lindsay Gibson offers powerful tools to help you step back and protect yourself at the first sign of an emotional takeover, make sure your emotions and needs are respected, and break free from the coercive control of emotionally immature parents.
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If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met or dismissed—and you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, and abandonment. As an adult, you have fought hard to establish your own sense of self, and heal the wounds caused by your upbringing. But what about other emotionally immature people (EIP) in your life? As an adult child of an emotionally immature parent (ACEIP), you may be particularly vulnerable to EIPs.
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The concepts and interventions introduced in this book are designed as an adjunct to, and in support of, other methods of treatment rather than as a stand-alone treatment or manualized approach. By drawing on the therapeutic relationship and adjusting interventions to the particular needs of each client, thoughtful attention to what is being spoken beneath the words through the body can heighten the intimacy of the therapist/client journey and help change take place more easily in the hidden recesses of the self.
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Self-Care for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
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未来の私
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From our earliest years, teaches Diane Poole Heller, we develop an attachment style that follows us through life, replaying in our intimate relationships, with our children, and at work. And traumatic events can deeply affect that core relational blueprint. With Healing Your Attachment Wounds, a pioneer in attachment theory and trauma resolution brings together these two fields to help us understand and benefit from their complementary principles and methods.
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Ten years ago, Ilyse Kennedy was a disconnected twenty-something, sitting on a therapy couch, grappling with her own trauma. Now, as a trauma therapist, Kennedy shows up ready to attune to her treasured clients. Those who meet her might be surprised to know that this twenty-something still lives within her. She also has a people pleaser, who caters to the needs of others for self-protection. Then there is the therapist within her, who offers tools and solutions for her clients. The twenty-something, people pleaser, and therapist are all parts within her.
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What is that magic quality that makes some people instantly loved and respected? Everyone wants to be their friend (or, if single, their lover!) In business, they rise swiftly to the top of the corporate ladder. What is their "Midas touch?"
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批評家のレビュー
“This profound and readable book provides clear guidelines for therapists and clients alike. In ways that complement my own work, clients learn how to unload the cultural and family burdens that block intimacy by keeping them locked in rigid gender roles. Therapists learn an empowering and practical process for treating couples. I enthusiastically recommend this book to anyone serious about improving relationships in the world today!”—Terrence Real, author of I Don’t Want to Talk about It, How Can I Get Through to You?, and The New Rules of Marriage
“This highly original book offers critical new insights into obstacles to the dance of intimacy. Most of us have inner exiled parts that carry burdens of shame and abandonment from our past. These interfere with our capacity for intimacy. Dick Schwartz shows us how to use the exiles our partners trigger in us to find and heal the source—our original attachment injuries. This releases our capacity to be fully alive in relationships.”—Bessel A. van der Kolk, MD, medical director, the Trauma Center, and professor of psychiatry, Boston University School of Medicine
“You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For is my relationship bible! The IFS principles and methods shared in this book have offered me direct access to ‘courageous love’ and a greater connection to my husband than I ever thought possible. The book is on my bedside table, and I turn to it as a nightly ritual.”—Gabby Bernstein, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Universe Has Your Back