In a recent Oval Office meeting, President Trump, Vice President Vance, and President Zelensky found themselves locked in a tense exchange—one that perfectly illustrates the negative cycle that derails communication, fuels mistrust, and blocks collaboration.

The conversation quickly spiraled into blame, frustration, and defensiveness, mirroring the destructive pattern known as Find the Bad Guy—where the main move is mutual attack, accusation, or blame.

🔴 The problem? When we feel hurt or vulnerable, we instinctively react with self-protection, often losing emotional safety in the process.

This cycle is all too familiar—not just in politics, but in leadership, business, and everyday relationships.

So how do we break free?

The Path to Creating Safety & Rebuilding Trust

✅ Recognize the Cycle – The real issue isn’t the person, it’s the pattern. When we feel cornered and flooded with fear, we hyper-focus on what the other person just did, but rarely see the impact of our own responses.

✅ Acknowledge Emotions – Our emotional world shrinks when we either numb out or lash out. Without recognizing emotions as our compass, we are effectively lost. Listen to what’s beneath the reaction, take time to organize and acknowledge emotions, and stay present in the conversation.

✅ Shift from Blame to Understanding – The more we attack, the more we appear dangerous to the other person. This negative pattern has to be shut down before trust and safety can be built. The real villain isn’t any individual—it’s the cycle itself.

When leaders understand these steps, they can deescalate conflict, transform conversations, and restore trust in their teams.

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The Leader in You is the go-to podcast for anyone who wants to create a workplace culture where you can thrive.

Envision a future where you are more grounded, confident, and in sync with your team.

CONNECT:
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Connect with Dr. Lola Gershfeld:

Linkedin: Dr. Lola Gershfeld
Instagram: @drlolaemc

Dr. Lola Gershfeld, a distinguished organizational psychologist, has dedicated her career to delving into the intricate layers of employee engagement, team dynamics, and workplace conflicts. She is the author of Emotional Connection and The Connected Culture, which aims to build strong and connected relationships, improve team dynamics, and prevent workplace conflicts.

This episode of The Leader in You Podcast explores the power of emotional awareness to foster stronger relationships in the workplace and at home.

Dr. Lola Gershfeld, Polina Marian, and Niamh Hannan discuss how the Emotional Connection (EmC) process creates safety for emotional expression, helps identify underlying emotions, and improves professional and personal relationships. They highlight how emotions impact workplace performance, parenting, and overall well-being.

Tune into the episode to learn how emotional awareness can transform leadership, enhance connection, and improve communication at work and home.

In this episode, we talk about:

• [00:00] Welcome & Introductions
• [00:49] Why understanding emotions matters in the workplace
• [04:13] The EmC Process: A roadmap for emotional awareness
• [06:00] The power of specificity in naming emotions
• [10:16] The impact of emotional intelligence on personal relationships
• [13:10] Why traditional performance reviews create disconnection
• [15:14] How emotional triggers impact behavior and decision-making
• [18:16] Emotions as the next frontier in workplace leadership
• [21:48] The key to building connections with children and employees
• [25:00] How the EmC process naturally integrates into personal relationships
• [27:44] Disconnection and workplace performance: The brain-science link
• [29:40] Closing thoughts & next steps

Follow Niamh Hannan on LinkedIn

Follow Polina Instagram @lifewithfivekids

The Leader in You is the go-to podcast for anyone who wants to create a workplace culture where you can thrive.

Envision a future where you are more grounded, confident, and in sync with your team.

CONNECT:
Website
Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn
YouTube Channel

Connect with Dr. Lola Gershfeld:

Linkedin: Dr. Lola Gershfeld
Instagram: @drlolaemc

Dr. Lola Gershfeld, a distinguished organizational psychologist, has dedicated her career to delving into the intricate layers of employee engagement, team dynamics, and workplace conflicts. She is the author of Emotional Connection and The Connected Culture, which aims to build strong and connected relationships, improve team dynamics, and prevent workplace conflicts.

Did you know the most common communication mistake in the workplace is not responding? It leads to disconnection, misunderstanding, and emotional distress.

In Episode #35 of The Leader in You Podcast, Dr. Lola Gershfeld and her daughter Polina explore how to uncover emotional triggers, repair relationships, and foster thriving teams.

➡️ The Top Communication Mistake: Not Responding (1:48 - 3:22)

➡️ Understanding Why People Don’t Respond (5:26 - 8:09)

➡️ The Slow Motion Camera Tool (8:25 - 10:39)

➡️ Repairing Emotional Injuries in Teams (13:21 - 15:51)

➡️ The Role of Trainers and Managers (17:50 - 22:34)

The Leader in You is the go-to podcast for anyone who wants to create a workplace culture where you can thrive.

Envision a future where you are more grounded, confident, and in sync with your team.

CONNECT:
Website
Facebook
Twitter
LinkedIn
YouTube Channel

Connect with Dr. Lola Gershfeld:

Linkedin: Dr. Lola Gershfeld
Instagram: @drlolaemc

Dr. Lola Gershfeld, a distinguished organizational psychologist, has dedicated her career to delving into the intricate layers of employee engagement, team dynamics, and workplace conflicts. She is the author of Emotional Connection and The Connected Culture, which aims to build strong and connected relationships, improve team dynamics, and prevent workplace conflicts.