Kelly explores the often challenging yet essential topic of sexual communication. She emphasizes the importance of open dialogue in fostering intimacy and trust within relationships. She looks at the various levels of communication and barriers that hinder discussions about sexual desires - practical strategies for initiating these conversations. Throughout, Kelly encourages listeners to embrace humour and vulnerability as they navigate their erotic selves and deepen their connections with partners.

Books: Anne Rice's Sleeping Beauty Trilogy

00:00 Introduction to Communication in Intimacy

10:45 Barriers to Discussing Sexual Topics

19:10 Exploring Kinky Literature: The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy

Kelly delves into the concept of sexual baggage, exploring how past experiences, societal messages, and personal insecurities can impact intimacy and relationships. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing and addressing these issues not only for personal healing but also for the well-being of future generations. She talks about the effects of sexual baggage on relationships, the cycle of shame and insecurity, and the steps towards healing, including communication, self-acceptance, and seeking professional help. Kelly concludes with a reminder that healing is a gift to oneself and to others, paving the way for deeper connections and healthier relationships. Books The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk and Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman

00:00 Understanding Sexual Baggage

06:47 Impact on Relationships and Future Generations

09:55 The Healing Process

16:05 Celebrating Stories and Literature

We explore the concept of mental load and its significant impact on intimacy and libido and how the overwhelming nature of daily responsibilities can detract from emotional and physical connection. We delve into the definition of mental load, its disproportionate distribution in relationships, and the cognitive and emotional consequences it brings. We also look at practical strategies for redistributing the mental load and creating space for intimacy are provided, along with a recommendation for an engaging erotic book.

Kelly explores the complexities of intimacy and sexual desire after becoming a parent. She discusses the common challenges parents face, including emotional distance, identity shifts, and societal pressures that can impact their romantic relationships. Kelly emphasizes the importance of self-connection and reframing intimacy, offering practical strategies for couples to rekindle their romance amidst the chaos of parenting. The episode is filled with insights on how to navigate the changes in desire and intimacy, encouraging parents to embrace their new normal and prioritize their connection with themselves and their partners.

Chapters

00:00 Welcome to Brain Sex

01:44 The Reality of Sex After Kids

03:31 Understanding Changes in Desire

10:07 Reframing Intimacy Post-Parenthood

16:21 Practical Strategies to Rekindle Connection

Takeaways

• It is normal to have very little desire after having kids.
• Connecting with yourself is essential for intimacy with a partner.
• Intimacy after kids requires a redefinition of what it looks like.
• Parents often put themselves last, which affects their relationships.
• Embracing your new body and identity is crucial for self-acceptance.
• Quality time with yourself and your partner is necessary for rekindling romance.
• Seduction and intimacy can take on new forms.
• Communication about desires and needs is vital for a healthy relationship.
• Laughter can help ease uncomfortable conversations about intimacy.
• Reclaiming your erotic self is a journey that requires effort and patience.